


The Wrong Building

by pictureswithboxes



Category: Kill la Kill
Genre: F/F, sat in the wrong class AU
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-03-05
Updated: 2014-05-16
Packaged: 2018-01-14 16:56:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 20,121
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1274047
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pictureswithboxes/pseuds/pictureswithboxes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Based on a tumblr post with a list of fun AUs. This one being "Sat down in the wrong class" AU. It will be ongoing.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own Kill la Kill. That's TRIGGER  
> A/N: This is based off of a tumblr post with lots of great AU ideas.

Ryuko ran as fast as she could toward the science building, which happened to be a mile or so away from her apartment. She didn’t want to be late on her first day of class, though sliding in half a minute before class started seemed to be what was going to happen. Luckily, the sidewalks were clear, making her run take less time.

The halls of the science building were full, making it difficult for Ryuko to navigate through. She glanced down at her schedule before entering the room to her right. It was a large lecture hall, though most of the students had already arrived, taking up every available seat. Except for two up front, both on either side of a woman sitting front and center.

Ryuko hurried to the front, taking the seat to the right of the woman. She glanced at her phone, two minutes before class, and the professor wasn’t even there yet. That counted as a win, she supposed as she unzipped her backpack and pulled out her notebook. She sneaked a glance at the woman beside her, just barely stopping her jaw from dropping

Her hair was pin straight and her clothes, which may have cost more than Ryuko’s books, were without a wrinkle. Her posture was perfect, too straight to be comfortable even. She wore a frown on her face as she stared straight ahead, her blue eyes cold and focused. She had sharp features and large eyebrows, though Ryuko had to admit that they complimented her face well. This woman was gorgeous. Ryuko didn’t even know her name, but she knew that she hated this woman.

The woman beside her turned ever so slightly, her frown deepening at the sight of Ryuko’s notebook. “You have the wrong room.” She said in a monotone.

“What?” Ryuko hissed, her eyes meeting the other woman’s cold ones.

“This isn’t Math 215.” She said, sounding impatient. “This is Business Law 323.” She glanced toward the back of the room as the professor wandered in. “You have the wrong room.” She paused for a moment. “You have the wrong building.”

“Shit.” Ryuko made a move to grab her bag, but the professor was already writing his name on the board.

The professor was old and looked like he didn’t want to be there, something Ryuko was sure they had in common. But the glare that he sent the students made her freeze in her seat and open her notebook.

_I guess I’m taking business law today._ She thought bitterly, pulling out her pen.

Business law was the dullest thing that Ryuko had ever experienced. The professor droned on and on for nearly three hours, not even bothering to go over the syllabus that he was supposed to pass out. Ryuko hated him. She hated him, and she hated the woman beside her who seemed to understand everything that he was droning on about.

Ryuko turned and watched the woman beside her. Her eyes bore into the professor, looking through him rather than at him. She looked incredibly bored, but there was no doubting her attentiveness. Especially considering the speeds in which her pen flew across the paper of her notebook. Ryuko would have watched her more, if not for the fact that the woman spared her a glance. Which soon turned glare after realizing that Ryuko had been watching her.

Ryuko spent the rest of the class with her head down, only looking up to sneak a peek at the woman beside her. She was sure that the feeling in her gut was that of pure hatred, it had to be. Everything about the other woman was infuriating, even the way she held her pen. No. Especially the way she held her pen.

At the two hour and fifty minute mark, the professor set them free. He told them that they could pick up a copy of the syllabus on the back table, before hurrying out. Ryuko felt it wise to follow his example and made a move to escape, only to run head first into what felt like a brick wall… with pillows?

“Watch where you’re walking.” An authoritative voice snapped, making Ryuko look up. It was the woman who sat beside her during the class. She scowled down at Ryuko, looking as if the shorter woman were road kill rather than a fellow student.

“Watch where you’re… standing!” Ryuko shot back, making the taller woman’s brows furrow.

“That didn’t make sense.” She replied, her frown deepening as she moved past Ryuko. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to get my syllabus.”

“Yeah, you do that.” Ryuko said, mentally slapping herself at the taller woman stepped by her.

The other woman didn’t seem to feel the need to respond as she walked away. Ryuko was strangely thankful for that as she watched her walk away.

Ryuko turned her heel and left the room, stuffing her hands in her pockets as she went.

The walk back to her apartment was quick enough, though it was nothing compared to her sprint to the wrong building. She hurried into her building and hopped into the elevator, there was no way that she’d be walking up seven flights of stairs. Her best friend and roommate, Mako, was still there when she opened the door. High School Musical was playing on their shared television.

“How was class?” Mako asked, not looking away from her movie.

“I ended up in the wrong building.” Ryuko replied, sitting down on the faux leather sofa and frowning at the television.

“No math then?”

“Nope. Business law.”

“Oh… that sounds awful.” Mako turned to face Ryuko, a frown forming. “Did you make any friends? You were gone a while.”

“It was a three hour lecture.” Ryuko’s frown deepened. “Three hours of boredom!”

“Terrible.”

“And the chick next to me was taking notes all perfectly! She acted like it was the most interesting thing on earth!”

“Maybe it is for her?”

“No one in the universe is that boring.”

“Sorry your class sucked.” Mako leaned over and engulfed Ryuko in a tight hug. “But Troy and Gabriella get are about to sing their big duet… Will that cheer you up?”

_Probably not._ Ryuko smiled in spite of herself. “I’m sure it will.”

“I knew it!” Mako turned her attention back to the movie. “Maybe tomorrow will be better…”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is the "grabbed the wrong coffee order" AU

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: Kill la Kill belongs to TRIGGER

“… And then I said ‘Where did all my money go?!’ It turns out, I spent it all on food.” Mako said, finishing her long winded story as she and Ryuko walked down the street to their favorite coffee shop.

“Yeah, that doesn’t surprise me in the least.” Ryuko replied, stuffing her hands in her pockets. “Why do you always spend all your money on food?”

“I like to bring home souvenirs for my family.” Mako shrugged.

“You eat them before you even visit them.” Ryuko opened the door to the coffee shop for Mako before stepping in herself. “Like, all the food you get is eaten within twenty minutes of you walking into the apartment. I’ve never seen anything like it. You’re like a vacuum.”

“You get a table, I’ll get the coffees.” Mako said, walking toward the counter.

Ryuko nodded and looked around the coffee shop. There weren’t many people in the coffee shop, making it easy to find a good table in the corner of the shop. She sat down, resting her elbows on the table and glancing around at the other patrons.

They were mostly other students, though Ryuko recognized some of the people who lived in the town. There was a group of four students sitting at the center table, Ryuko recognized the largest one, angry looking and blond, as the head of the Student Security Committee. Ryuko may or may not have thrown eggs at him in a drunk stupor three weeks ago. Casually running her hand through her hair, Ryuko looked away to hid her face. She was sure that the man did not quite appreciate that little stunt.

“Here you go, Ryuko.” Mako’s voice made Ryuko jump as she was handed a coffee. “There was a line… Eh, well… I there were two people, but someone in the back kept mixing up the orders. Anyway, here.”

Ryuko nodded and looked at the cup in her hands, frowning when she looked at the name scrawled on the side of her coffee in sharpie. It didn’t say ‘Ryuko’ or any variation of it, instead reading ‘ _Satsuki_.’ Ryuko glanced up at Mako, her frown deepening.

“Who’s Satsuki?” Ryuko asked, making Mako look up from her drink, which had somehow been spilt all over the front of her shirt.

“One of your one night stands?” Mako frowned, taking a sip of her coffee.

“What?” Ryuko’s eyes widened. “No! I mean- Ugh, look!” She shoved the coffee into Mako’s face. “You grabbed the wrong cup, Einstein.”

“Oh, I’ll go fix it!” Mako exclaimed, jumping up to go back to the counter.

“I’ll do it.” Ryuko rolled her eyes and climbed off the chair. “You just…” She looked at the stain on Mako’s shirt. “You just try not to turn the rest of your shirt brown… Or do it all the way.”

“Sorry!” Mako mumbled, looking down at her shirt with a frown. “I don’t know how this happens.”

“You’re a mystery, Mako.” With that, Ryuko turned her heel and walked back to the counter.

There was someone else standing at the counter, looking thoroughly irritated. Ryuko’s eyes widened, immediately recognizing the woman at the counter. It was the woman from the business law class that Ryuko had accidentally sat in on two weeks ago. Her arms were crossed and there was a frown on her face.

On the counter was a lone coffee cup, ‘ _Ryuuko_ ’ scrawled on the side. Ryuko sighed, tapping the taller woman on the shoulder, praying that she wasn’t ‘Satsuki.’

“Hi,” Ryuko sighed, trying to avoid any and all eye contact. “So, my friend had a mix up and…”

The taller woman raised an eyebrow, not even looking mildly interested.

“She grabbed the wrong coffee… Does your name happen to be Satsuki?” Ryuko shoved the coffee forward, thanking her lucky stars that the woman before her moved out of the way before she was covered with coffee.

“That would be me.” The woman said, taking her coffee and glancing at the counter. “So, you’d be Ryuko, then?”

“… Yeah, that’d be me.” Ryuko nodded, grabbing her coffee off the counter.

“Would your friend happen to be the one trying to dye her shirt brown with coffee?” Satsuki looked over at Mako, who was chugging her coffee, most of it leaking down her chin and onto her shirt. “She seems charming.”

“She’s my best friend.” Ryuko glared up at Satsuki. “And are you alone, then?”

“My friends are over there.” Satsuki gestured to the table in the center with the giant from student security.

 _Of course she’s friends with someone like that._  Ryuko thought, frowning at the giant. She glanced back up to Satsuki, her cheeks turning slightly red. God, she hated that woman so much.

“I should get back to them,” Satsuki said, moving toward her table. “They get worried easily.”

“Yeah, well, you’re welcome.” Ryuko called after her, her cheeks darkening as she walked away.

“So, how’d it go?” Mako asked as she sat down.

“That was the chick from business law.” Ryuko frowned, taking a sip of her coffee. “And I looked like a complete idiot.”

“I thought you hated her…” Mako shrugged, setting her drink down and wiping her face with the back of her hand. “Why do you care if you look stupid?”

“I care because…” Ryuko paused. Why did she care? She didn’t need to impress Satsuki. “I don’t care. I just don’t like looking stupid ever.”

“Well, what do you hate about her?”

“What?”

“Why do you hate that business law chick?”

“I… I hate her.” Ryuko said, furrowing her brow. “I hate the way she sits like she has a god damn pole up her ass. Or how she looks down at me. Or that sense of entitlement. Or how she always frowns at people! That’s like four things, four reasons to hate her.”

“You sure hate her.” Mako didn’t look convinced.

“Oh what do you know?” Ryuko grunted, drinking her coffee. “Your shirt is brown now.”

“We have bleach, don’t worry.” Mako said, glancing down.

“Is it really worth is to bleach the shirt by now? I mean, it’d be less work to just leave it like that. It can be your coffee shirt.”

“That’s a great idea, Ryuko!” Mako’s eyes lit up.

“That was…” Ryuko frowned. “I wasn’t being- You know what? Go nuts. I don’t care.”

Mako started chattering away about how much money she could save if she stopped washing her clothes, a practice that Ryuko was sure would only last until their next laundry day. Ryuko turned her head slightly to look at the center table. Satsuki sat in the middle of her group, all of whom seemed to be having a very… passionate conversation based on how red the dark haired guy’s face was as he growled at the pink haired girl. 

Satsuki and a light haired guy with glasses seemed to be completely ignoring the others, the glasses guy was on his phone, while Satsuki wasn’t really focusing on anything in particular. Ryuko frowned at her, how was it legal to be so attractive? _Wait, what?_ Ryuko blinked twice, turning away from the table just as Satsuki glanced up at her.

“What’s that, now?” She asked Mako, who froze.

“I was saying that we should make our own cheese…” Mako said, looking excited. “We’d save money for school!”

“Mako, we barely even eat cheese.” Ryuko watched as Satsuki and her friends left the coffee shop. “When was the last time we even had meat that wasn’t freeze dried?”

“Why are you staring at her if you hate her so much?” Mako asked, looking interested.

“I… don’t stare at people.” Ryuko replied, looking back at her half empty cup. “You stare at people.”

“I stare at people that I like.”

“I don’t stare at anyone, ever.”

“You were staring at that business chick.”

“I don’t stare, you’re covered in coffee!” 


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This one is a "Trapped in an elevator" AU

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own Kill la Kill. That's TRIGGER.

Ryuko frowned as she wandered toward the giant skyscraper before her. She had to go visit her father, who worked on the thirty-fifth floor. Heaving a great sigh, Ryuko entered the building and signed in at the front table before going to the elevators. There was a crowd in front of them, pushing into a single elevator. Her frown deepened as the doors closed, leaving her behind.

 _Of course_. Ryuko thought, stuffing her hands into the pockets of her ratty pair of jeans as she waited for the next set of doors to open up. She started playing with the coins in her pocket, letting them jingle to the tune of one of the stupid songs that Mako liked to play around the apartment.

The doors behind her dinged and opened up, allowing Ryuko to step inside. She pressed the button for her floor and stood awkwardly as the doors closed. The ride was peaceful until she got to the fourteenth floor and the elevator opened, revealing the woman from business law and the coffee shop.

Their eyes met for a moment before she stepped in and pressed the button for the fiftieth floor. Both women looked away, Satsuki stood as far away from Ryuko as possible, her arms crossed over her chest. She had a frown on her face, glaring at the wall of the elevator.

They stood in silence, only the terrible elevator music in the background. Ryuko started jingling her coins to the music again, only to stop when she noticed the cold glare coming from Satsuki on the other side of the elevator. Ryuko glanced over at Satsuki, who was now glaring at the wall.

At around floor twenty-five, the elevator started to shake as it rose before stopping suddenly. Ryuko stumbled forward, falling over her own feet and hitting her head on the wall. Satsuki, on the other hand, managed to brace herself and not fall, her frown deepening as she looked around.

“What the fuck?” Ryuko exclaimed, looking over to Satsuki for answers. “What just happened?”

“I think the elevator has broken down.” Satsuki said calmly, pressing one of the buttons before pulling out her cellphone from her front pocket. “I pressed the maintenance button. There’s no use in panicking.”

“Does this happen to you a lot!?” Ryuko found herself growling as she jumped to her feet.

“Actually, it’s never happened to me.” Satsuki didn’t look up from her phone. “But, I’m always prepared for a crisis.” She paused and glanced up at Ryuko. “You should contact whoever it is that you’re meeting and tell them that you’ll be late.”

Ryuko grunted and dug her cellphone out of her back pocket. It took her a moment to think of the right thing to say to her father, only for her to realize that her cellphone had no service. With a growl, Ryuko shoved her phone back into her pocket and glared at the walls.

“How long do you think we’ll be in here for?” She asked, stuffing her hands in her pockets again.

“It could be anything between five minutes and five hours.” Satsuki replied, crossing her arms as she glared at the doors.

“I’ve seen a movie like this before.” Ryuko said conversationally. “Satan sneaks into an elevator and whacks off a bunch of sinners. Now, I’m not Satan, so I have to assume-“

“I don’t want to hear about your stupid films.”

“I’m just trying to lighten the mood!”

“With a story about Satan in an elevator?”

“Well, when you say it that way…”

“Please be quiet.”

Ryuko huffed and crossed her arms, glaring at the taller woman. “So, you’re not Satan, then?”

Satsuki’s frown deepened, but she said nothing.

“So, we’re just going to sit here and listen to elevator music, then?” Ryuko grumbled, the damn music was starting to get to her.

“My friend would be going absolutely insane if she were to hear this music.” Satsuki muttered, glancing at her phone. “I’m going to be making a phone call in a moment, please excuse me.”

“Oh… uh, sure…” Ryuko turned her head, looking back at the wall. “Just… ignore me, then.”

“I intend to.” Satsuki muttered, putting her phone to her ear. “Yes, hello Mother... No, Mother… I’m trapped in an elevator… Yes, Mother… I know… Do you honestly think that I wouldn’t have the mind to press the maintenance button…? Well, I’d assume that we’d be trapped for at least thirty minutes… Mother, there’s no need to…”

Satsuki hung up her phone and glanced over at Ryuko. “My mother is having our elevator put on the top priority list. We should be out sooner than I’ve predicted.”

“Your mom’s pretty high up, then?” Ryuko raised an eyebrow.

“You could say that.” Satsuki put her phone in her pocket with a scowl.

“Why’d you call your mom?”

“I had a meeting with her.”

“You schedule meetings with your mom?”

“No. She schedules them for me.” Satsuki replied, furrowing her brow.

“That’s not normal.”

“Of course it is.”

“… Whatever.” Ryuko rolled her eyes and glanced at the doors. “Wanna play a game?”

“Why on earth would I want to play a game with you?”

“I was just offering to pass the time.”

“We could play the quiet game.”

“That’s cheating.”

“Well, I’m going to participate in the quiet game.” Satsuki said before falling silent.

They were silent for almost ten minutes before Ryuko started to jingle her change again. She cast a sidelong glance toward Satsuki, making sure that the taller woman wasn’t glaring at her before continuing. At some point, Ryuko was bored with her change, the jingling started to make her head hurt, and she cursed herself for not having the resolve to continue. It really looked like Satsuki was annoyed… Though, that could just have been how her face was.

“So, your mom works on the fiftieth floor.” Ryuko said, looking at the still glowing buttons. “She must really be important.”

“She doesn’t work on the fiftieth floor.” Satsuki replied almost impatiently. “Her lawyers work on the fiftieth floor. I was to meet her there before she took me to lunch.”

“Ah…” Ryuko nodded, looking away.

“Why are you here?” Satsuki didn’t sound interested at all, but at least she was trying to participate in the conversation.

“Visiting my dad.” Ryuko frowned, looking back at her cellphone. “He works here.”

“I gathered.”

“Yeah, we were supposed to grab lunch and ‘talk about my future.’” Ryuko rolled her eyes.

“He doesn’t approve of your life choices?”

“No, he doesn’t.”

Satsuki hummed but said nothing.

“I’m Ryuko Matoi, by the way.” Ryuko said after a minute of silence. “I thought you should know because any time something completely stupid happens to me, you’re involved.”

“Satsuki Kiryuin.” Satsuki replied without looking at Ryuko. “And, until now, all of the ‘stupid’ things that have been happening were your own fault.”

“My friend mixing up the coffees was my fault.”

“You really should have known that she was inept.”

Ryuko bit back a snide comment, it probably wouldn’t be best if she got into a fight with Satsuki while they were trapped in an elevator. “She’s not inept. She’s eccentric.”

“Call it what you will.”

“You’re pretty critical of people that you’ve never met.”

“I’m critical about everyone.”

“Oh…” Ryuko fell silent, glancing at the floor.

There was another few minutes before they heard the groaning of steel and the elevator started moving again. They went up one floor before the doors opened and group of people grabbed each woman and tugged them out. There was a paramedic team that wanted to look them over, though Satsuki pushed them off of her and grabbed her phone probably to call her mother.

Ryuko pulled her phone out and dialed her father’s number. It went to voicemail after six rings, so Ryuko sighed and left a message.

“Hey Dad, it’s me.” She said, trying to sound casual. “So… I may or may not have been stuck in an elevator. Actually, I totally was. Uh… So that’s why I couldn’t make it for lunch. Also, you should find a new job with a better building because the elevators suck.”

She hung up and looked over to Satsuki, who had done the same thing. The taller woman walked over to Ryuko, her frown still in place as she looked down at Ryuko.

“I hope your lunch with your father goes well.” She said simply, her voice still a monotone.

“Thanks.” Ryuko nodded, frowning slightly. “And thanks for having your mom put a rush order on things. It was really great of you.”

“It was no trouble.” Satsuki sighed, crossing her arms. “I’ll see you next time something stupid happens, I guess.”

“Yeah.” Ryuko nodded, her cheeks turning pink. “Hopefully it won’t be my fault next time.”

“Hopefully.” Satsuki echoed, the corner of her mouth turning up. “I should be going.”

“Yeah, me too.” Ryuko sighed, watching as Satsuki turned her heel and started walking away. “Until next time, Kiryuin.”

“Same to you, Matoi.” Satsuki called back without turning around.

“I should probably call Mako.” Ryuko muttered, pulling out her phone. 


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mako goes on a date with Gamagori. Ryuko waits for it all to be over. Who does she run into?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own Kill la Kill

Ryuko was sitting on the sofa, her homework long forgotten in favor of a few reruns of _Ninja Warrior_. Mako was sitting on the floor in front of the coffee table, her eyes flicking from her essay to the television every so often. She glanced over at Ryuko, who was now shouting at the would-be champion, telling him to grow a pair and use his muscles.

“Hey, Ryuko.” Mako said, causing her best friend to jump and look down at her.

“Yeah, what’s up?” Ryuko glanced back at the screen for a moment before looking at Mako. “Do you need help spelling something?”

“No, it’s not that, it’s just…” Mako paused. “Do you remember that boy that you egged about a month ago?”

“The huge blond one, yeah.” Ryuko nodded, a small frown forming. “Did he do something to you? Because if he did, I swear I’ll-“

“No, nothing like that!” Mako said hurriedly. “He didn’t do anything wrong! I bumped into him yesterday, and he asked me on a date!”

“You didn’t say yes, did you?”

“What do you mean?”

“You don’t know him!”

“His name is Ira Gamagori, and he’s head of the Student Security Counsel.”

“Okay, what else?”

“He’s friends with your elevator buddy.”

“I never should’ve told you about the elevator.”

“Who else would you tell?” Mako asked, looking back at the television. “You don’t have any other friends besides me.”

Ryuko chose to ignore Mako’s statement and turned her attention to the show. “Where’s he taking you?”

“One of the nicer… _safe_ restaurants in town.” Mako replied, shrugging. “He says that we should go to that respectable bistro just off campus.”

“He said respectable?”

“He’s a little weird, but so am I, so…”

“A little weird?” Ryuko nudged Mako with her sneaker. “You’re the weirdest, buddy.”

“Well, I still have a date.” Mako said, swatting Ryuko’s knee. “I don’t see you going on dates!”

“I haven’t found anyone that I like, yet.”

“What about your elevator-“

“No, Mako.”

“But you like her!”

“No I don’t.” Ryuko crossed her arms and frowned at her show. “We were stuck in an elevator, that’s all!”

“That’s all?” Mako frowned, looking up at her friend. “You didn’t even make out?”

“I didn’t even know her last name!”

“You’ve made out with people whose first names you didn’t know, though…”

“I didn’t make out with her!”

“Well, that was a waste of time, huh?”

“I told you that nothing happened. What’s wrong with you?”

“I still have a date, and you don’t.”

Ryuko rolled her eyes and ignored her friend. She didn’t like Satsuki Kiryuin, they barely even spoke in the whole time that they’d been stuck in that damn elevator. Besides, she never even thought about her… unless Mako brought her up. Or whenever Ryuko was in an elevator, but that was normal right?

“When is this date, anyway?” Ryuko asked.

“On Friday, dummy, when else?”

“When?”

“Seven.”

“Is he picking you up, or are you meeting him?”

“He said it was my choice.”

“You’re meeting him.”

“Why?”

“That way you won’t have to rely on him for a ride home.”

“… You should really trust people more, Ryuko.” Mako sighed, leaning onto the coffee table, her essay long forgotten. “Ira’s nice. A little serious, and he thinks heck is a bad word… But still, he’s really nice.”

“Whatever.” Ryuko rolled her eyes. “You’re not getting a ride from him, though. I’ve never met him, so-“

“You threw eggs at him once.”

“That’s another reason not to trust him.”

“You make no sense.”

**.**

“Mako, go easy on the cheese.” Ryuko said, watching as her friend gorged herself in the kitchenette. “You’ll spoil your dinner with the giant.”

“I can’t help it, I’m nervous.” Mako replied, taking a bite out of an almost finished block of cheddar.

“You’re nervous?” Ryuko frowned, sending Mako a concerned look. “You’re nervous, so you’re eating cheese?”

Mako nodded.

“Is that what you do to calm down?” Ryuko asked, her brow furrowing. “How much have you had?”

“How much is too much?”

“Any amount of cheese before a date is too much cheese!”

“So a block is too much?”

“Yes!” Ryuko rolled her eyes. “Go brush your teeth!”

Mako nodded and walked to the bathroom.

Ryuko rolled her eyes and slumped against the sofa. Who just eats a block of cheese before a date? She tried to focus on the television, some stupid 80’s movie was playing. Something about a girl who likes a boy, so she changes everything about herself to be with him. Yeah because THAT makes sense in the real world.

“Okay, smell my breath!” Mako leaned onto the arm of the sofa and breathed into Ryuko’s face.

“Definitely not cheese.” Ryuko sighed, watching as Mako grinned. “When do you wanna leave?”

“You wouldn’t have to drive me if you trusted Ira.” Mako said, fiddling with her phone.

“Yup, it’s all my fault.” Ryuko thrust her arm up. “Help me up, would ya?”

Mako grabbed her hand, only for Ryuko to tug away quickly. “Dude, you really must be nervous, your hands are all clammy.”

“It’s not clammy.” Mako said calmly, inspecting her hands. “It’s butter.”

“Butter?”

“Butter.”

“Why?”

“I got hungry.”

“So you ate _butter_?”

“No, buttery popcorn.”

“Go wash your hands.” Ryuko sighed, wiping her own hand on her jeans as she stood. “This Ira guy has no idea what he’s getting himself into.”

The drive to the restaurant was quiet, save for Mako singing along to every single station that the radio was turned to. She even sang along to NPR, much to Ryuko’s amusement. It took double the time to get to the restaurant because Mako couldn’t give directions to save her life and apparently didn’t know right from left.

“I’ll just be at the café across the street, okay?” Ryuko parked her pickup truck on the side of the road and watched as Mako hopped out of the car. “Just text me when you’re done, and I’ll get you. Okay?”

“Fine.” Mako nodded, moving to close the door.

“Have fun, okay?” Ryuko sighed, climbing out herself.

“Don’t worry, Ira’s the coolest!” Mako said, smiling as she ran into the restaurant. “He’s not even mad about the eggs.”

“You didn’t tell him it was me, right?”

“… Oh, look at the time, I’m gonna be late.” Mako said, looking at her wrist and walking away quickly. “I’ll text you when it’s over! Don’t get stuck in an elevator!”

“That was one time!” Ryuko rolled her eyes and wandered across the street and into the café.

She ordered her coffee and sat down at a table in the back corner, pulling out her cellphone. She started playing some stupid game that she downloaded to prove to Mako that she’d beat her high score. Ryuko hadn’t beaten the high score, nor did she ever come close.

Ryuko glanced up and frowned when she saw Satsuki Kiryuin walk in. She was flanked by a nerd with his phone so close to his face, it could have been touching his nose, a guy who looked like he took gym class far too seriously, and the tiniest human that Ryuko had ever seen. Ryuko held back a slight shiver at the sight of the woman, something stupid was going to happen.

Satsuki seemed to notice her, and their eyes met for a fraction of a second. Ryuko looked away quickly, trying her hardest not to get up and leave the café right then and there. Taking a deep breath, Ryuko started playing her game again, only to die within ten seconds.

“Shit.” Ryuko grunted tossing her phone onto the table angrily, before grabbing it again and playing the game.

“Wait, so _that’s_ the elevator chick?” Ryuko heard coming from a nearby table. She glanced up and saw that the tiny woman with pink hair was looking at her. “How did you survive?”

Ryuko grunted and tried not to listen to Satsuki’s reply. Tried and failed, she totally listened.

“Yes, that would be her.” Satsuki sounded bored. “It wasn’t terrible”

“According to your mother, you were locked in there for three hours.” The nerd said, Ryuko snorted.

“My mother is mistaken.” Satsuki deadpanned. “I was stuck there for thirty minutes at the most, and the lights did not go out.”

“Wow, Queen MILF exaggerated?” The other guy said. “Like that never happens.”

“Never call my mother a MILF.”

“I call ‘em as I see ‘em.”

Ryuko tried not to laugh as she tuned into her stupid game again, only to die virtually. She heard a few footsteps coming toward her, Ryuko looked up to see Satsuki standing before her. Satsuki looked a mix between bored and irritated.

“Matoi.” She said stiffly, offering a small nod. “It’s nice to see you.”

“Oh… uh, yeah.” Ryuko nodded, smiling slightly. “Hi.”

“Hello.” Satsuki said, her frown softening. “What brings you here?”

“My friend is going on a date across the street.” Ryuko said, gesturing to the restaurant where Mako was. “With a giant, you should see this dude. He’s like… eight feet tall. And buff as hell. Oh, shit, why am I telling you this?”

“You do realize that you’re referring to one of my best friends, right?” Satsuki looked mildly entertained.

“I also threw eggs at him once.”

“That happens to him rather often.”

“But, I guess your friend’s on a date with my friend.” Ryuko shrugged, sipping her coffee.

“Gamagori was definitely pleased.” Satsuki sighed, glancing back at her friends. “It’d be rude of me not to invite you to sit with us, but it’s purely so I can keep an eye on you in case of an… unfortunate situation.”

“You’re worried about something stupid happening too?”

“Well, the situations seem to be escalating in severity, I’d rather not be hit by a car.”

“Or worse. We went from coffee mix up to broken elevator. One of us could die.”

Satsuki’s lips quirked up into a small smile. “Indeed. Grab your things and sit with us.”

“You’re not really giving me a choice, but sure.” Ryuko stood and grabbed her coffee.

She followed Satsuki to the table in the center of the café where three others were sitting. The others scooted their chairs to make room for Ryuko, creating a large gap where Ryuko would be sitting, effectively alienating her.

“This is Ryuko Matoi.” Satsuki said, nodding to Ryuko.

“You’re the elevator girl?” The tall guy who looked like he took gym class too seriously asked, looking up from his coffee.

“Yeah.” Ryuko nodded, sitting down beside Satsuki.

“And you were the one who got stuck in the wrong class for three hours?” The tiny woman asked, a smirk forming on her face.

“Yes, and I’m the one who’s coffee order got mixed up, and my friend is on a date with your friend.” Ryuko said, looking at the nerd as he was about to open his mouth. “I think that’s all.”

“This is Uzu Sanageyama.” Satsuki gestured to the gym class guy. “Nonon Jakuzure.” She pointed to the small woman. “And Houka Inumuta.” The nerd nodded and looked back at his phone.

“Hi.” Ryuko offered a small wave. “It’s… nice to meet you.”

“Cool.” Nonon sighed, looking over at Satsuki. “Why is she here again?”

“Be polite, Nonon.” Satsuki said with a frown.

“Sorry.” Nonon muttered, looking over at Ryuko. “I hear your friend is on a date with Frog. Is that why you’re here alone?”

“Frog?”

“Gamagori.”

“Oh, well yeah. I don’t trust him with Mako.”

“Fair enough.” Nonon rolled her eyes. “He’d probably crush her.”

“Nonon.” Satsuki snapped, while the others chuckled. “Gamagori is much more honorable than that.”

“Yeah, he’d never _try_ to crush her-“ Uzu was cut off by Houka smacking the back of his head.

“Do you know when to stop talking?”

“My mother never taught me any manners, it’s not my fault.”

“Aren’t you an adult?”

“Not mentally.”

“He’s right.” Nonon weighed in, her smirk back in place. “Uzu is just a trash monkey, completely unable to think anything through.”

Ryuko snorted, making the other three look up at her.

“What are you laughing at, piss baby?” Nonon grumbled. “You’re not much higher up the evolutionary ladder, yourself.”

“What the hell is a piss baby? Is that even an insult”

“Did it make you feel bad about yourself?”

“… Sort of.”

“Then it did its job.”

Satsuki let out a light chuckle before glaring at Nonon. “She isn’t your friend.” She said with a frown. “She hasn’t agreed to put up with your abuse.”

“Once you’re born, you agree to put up with my abuse.” Nonon muttered almost inaudibly.

“Don’t mutter.” Satsuki said, making Nonon jump.

“Sorry.” Nonon sighed, taking a sip of her coffee.

“Forgiven.” Satsuki looked over to Ryuko. “What’s your major?”

“I was accounting, but…” Ryuko frowned. “I’m switching back to undecided.”

“Don’t do something that you’re not passionate about.” Satsuki said with conviction.

Ryuko rolled her eyes and drank some of her coffee.

Ryuko listened as Satsuki’s friends bickered endlessly. Periodically, she’d cast a glance toward Satsuki. The older woman didn’t look nearly as irritated as Ryuko would have thought. In fact, she looked like she was enjoying herself.

“What about you, piss baby?” Nonon looked over to Ryuko. “Do you think that Mr. Monkey could create a race of strong men?”

“If I inseminated the right woman, I totally could.” Uzu said. “Haven’t you seen _X-Men_?”

“That’s if you believe that mutations like in _X-Men_ are plausible.” Houka said, rolling his eyes before looking back at his phone.

“And that you can get a woman.” Nonon added, making everyone at the table chuckle, including Uzu.

“I think you’re insane.” Ryuko said flatly.

“Well, whatever, you guys just don’t believe in evolution.” Uzu huffed, crossing his arms over his chest.

“No, I’m sure we all believe in evolution.” Satsuki said her tone flat, in fact, Ryuko could swear that she sounded bored. “We just don’t fall asleep watching _X-Men_ every time it’s on cable, and then decide that we are now super human.”

“Yeah, you’re the only super human here, right?” Uzu smirked.

“Of course.” Satsuki’s lips quirked up.

They continued like that, usually Nonon would slip in a snide comment about anyone but Satsuki before Houka or Uzu would reply with something slightly less venomous. Ryuko found herself wondering briefly how these people even managed to come together for longer than ten minutes. Though, their arguments seemed to last at least five, that is until Satsuki weighed in, and the subject was almost immediately dropped. It wasn’t hard to see Satsuki’s roll in their group.

“It’s Gamagori.” Satsuki said when her phone buzzed. “He says that his date went well and that he can see us in here. He thanks us for not spying on him in the restaurant.”

“It would have been more fun than having to listen to the trash monkey brag about his super semen.” Nonon said snidely.

“I have to agree with the Mini-Me.” Uzu nodded. “Have you seen how weird Ira gets when he’s nervous, I swear…”

“I’ll see you all tomorrow, then.” Satsuki rolled her eyes and stood, walking toward the door and tossing her cup away before exiting.

“Bye.” Ryuko tossed on her jacket and then followed suit.

The air was chilled, and Mako was across the street, waving frantically at Ryuko. With a smaller wave of her own, Ryuko went to cross the street, only to feel a strong grip on the back of her jacket. She was tugged back roughly, just in time to see a car speed by.

“I told you that I didn’t want anyone to be hit by a car.” Satsuki said when Ryuko looked up. “It seems hard to avoid a ‘stupid situation’ when we’re around each other.”

“Did you just save me from a speeding car?” Ryuko asked, her cheeks turning pink as relief washed over her.

“Yes. I thought that was self-explanatory.” Satsuki furrowed her brow, letting go of Ryuko’s jacket.

“Thanks… for not watching me die.”

“You’d be hurt badly, I don’t think you’d die though. The car wasn’t moving fast enough.”

“Well, thanks anyway.” Ryuko scratched the back of her head and looked to where Mako was.

“Ryuko!” She shouted, waving her arms frantically. “Look both ways when you cross the street! Literally every single children’s show says something about it!”

“She’s right you know.” Satsuki muttered as they crossed, this time without incident. “I won’t always be there to make sure your leg isn’t broken.”

“You probably will.” Ryuko muttered. “And we’ll both end up in the hospital with matching casts.”

“Today went without incident.”

“I almost died.”

“You’re being dramatic.”

“Whatever.” Ryuko rolled her eyes and opened her arms for a hug from Mako. “I’ll see you around, then?”

“Hopefully not.” Satsuki shrugged, walking away.

“You almost got hit by a car!” Mako exclaimed, as soon as they got in the car.

“Yeah.” Ryuko nodded.

“You could have died!”

“Maybe.”

“But then that lady saved you.”

“Oh… That’s Satsuki Kiryuin.”

“The elevator girl?”

“…”

“It was!”

“Yeah.”

“She’s so pretty!”

Ryuko rolled her eyes. “Didn’t you just have a date?”

“Yeah, but this is great! It’s like a romcom!” 


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mako drags Ryuko to a football game. Something obviously happens

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own Kill la Kill

Ryuko groaned as she was dragged into her school’s football stadium by none other than Mako. Apparently Mako’s weird not boyfriend was running security for the game. It seemed pretty important, especially since the last time there was no security, one of the students lit off illegal fireworks behind the opposing team’s bleachers. While it was a hilarious prank, it caused a lot more panic than appropriate for a football game.

“Don’t be such a grump, Ryuko.” Mako teased as they walked toward the security building. “You love watching muscle-y guys beating on each other.”

Ryuko merely rolled her eyes. Mako had decided that she couldn’t spend her night watching season four of _America’s Next Top Model_ on TV. Apparently it was only okay for people who care about modeling and fashion, it was weird when Ryuko did it just to ogle the models.

“Ira!” Mako exclaimed when she opened the door to the building.

“Mako.” Ira looked over at the two women. “And Matoi, I suppose?”

“Yeah.” Ryuko said, a small smile forming when she noticed that Ira was wearing a neon yellow vest that said ‘Security’ over the chest. “I don’t think anyone will be doing anything illegal while you’re around.”

“Let’s hope not.” Ira said, casting a glance toward Mako. “I’ll meet up with you to see the halftime show, is that alright?”

“Yeah…” Mako paused to look at Ryuko. “Unless I go with you on patrol! We could fight bad guys together!”

“Have fun with that.” Ryuko turned to leave the building.

“Oh, and Ira said that his other friends should be here,” Mako said, making Ryuko’s cheeks turn pink. “Right, Ira?”

“Yes.” Ira nodded, giving Mako a small security vest. “Inumuta, Sanageyama, Satsuki, and I are also here to support Jakuzure.”

“Jakuzure?” Ryuko asked, freezing mid stride. “The tiny one?”

“Yes.”

“She’s going to be on the field?”

“Yes.”

“She’s playing?”

“No, she’s the drum major.”

“Oh…” Ryuko frowned slightly. “Can you imagine that tiny thing playing football, though?”

“I can, in fact we played when we were younger.” Ira replied, rolling his eyes as he watched Mako struggle with her vest.

“Well, have fun, kids.” Ryuko sighed, giving the both of them a halfhearted wave before walking out of the building.

Of course Mako had planned to get Ryuko to go to the same stupid game that Satsuki was at. Ryuko grunted as she kicked a rock and looked around, she needed to be vigilant now. Last time they had met, Ryuko was almost hit by a car, and while there probably weren’t cars at a football stadium, there was definitely something that could potentially kill her. Ryuko knew that she shouldn’t have watched all of the _Final Destination_ movies last night, they were making her paranoid.

“Hey, watch it!” Ryuko landed on her rump after she bumped into what felt like a wall.

“Shit, sorry.” Ryuko looked up to see Uzu Sanageyama standing before her.

“You’re Matoi, right?” Uzu asked, offering a hand.

“Uh, yeah.” Ryuko nodded, taking the hand and pulling herself up. “Sorry about that, I should’ve been watching out.”

“It’s fine.” Uzu stuffed his hands in his pockets. “You’re here alone?”

“I wasn’t.” Ryuko shrugged, jabbing her thumb in the direction of the security building. “Mako came with, but she’s with your giant friend.”

“They’re doing security together?”

“Yeah, why?”

Uzu let out a bark of a laugh. “That’s like _The Hulk_ trying to fight crime with a squirrel.”

“I can see that.” Ryuko nodded, a small smile forming.

“Sanageyama,” The voice of Houka Inumuta rang out behind Ryuko, making her turn her head to see the man. “Why are you harassing Matoi?”

“Not harassing, we just ran into each other.” Uzu shrugged, his smile disappearing.

Houka looked at Ryuko for a confirmation.

“Yeah, it was all my fault, I was looking out for something stupid and-“

“And you bumped into it.” Houka said, giving Uzu a teasing smirk.

Uzu snorted and scratched the back of his neck. “She’s all alone, abandoned by her best friend for someone eight feet tall. Can we keep her?”

“I don’t see why not.” Houka shrugged, pulling out his cellphone. “Satsuki will find it interesting that you’re here.”

“Interesting?”

“Yes, she’s always on her guard in public now. I fear that she’s afraid of another unfortunate turn of events.”

“She wasn’t the one who was almost hit by a car.”

“No, she saved you from being hit by a car.”

“She told you?”

“The café did have windows.”

“Oh.” Ryuko felt herself turn red.

“She’s not replying.” Houka sighed, shoving his phone in his pocket. “She must be busy with Jakuzure or something.”

“Well, let’s bring show her who we found, then.” Uzu turned his heel and walked toward the stands. “So, Matoi, what’s your favorite movie?”

They wandered around the stadium for the first quarter of the game. Uzu spent most of the time asking mundane questions, while Houka had his nose in his phone. Ryuko learned a lot about the two of them, like Uzu blindfolded himself for four months in his senior year of high school because he and Satsuki had a bet, or that Houka once was suspended for hacking a teacher’s account, to change all of Nonon’s A’s to C’s, in middle school. Ryuko was impressed, but also slightly confused. These two didn’t seem like the type to be friends at all.

“There she is.” Uzu said, pointing a few yards ahead of them.

Satsuki was standing near the fence, looking mildly annoyed she spoke with an attractive blonde in front of her. She glowered down at the blonde, much like how she looked at everyone, but her eyes were narrowed and her hands were curled into tight fists. The blonde, however, looked cheerful, almost as if she heard that Christmas had come early.

Ryuko frowned she watched the other two talk. She couldn’t even begin to understand what they were saying, not really.

“Aw shit.” Uzu muttered, a frown of his own forming. “When’d _she_ get here?”

“So that’s why she’s not responding.” Houka said, putting his phone away. “Should we leave or…”

“I’m not getting in the middle of that.” Uzu said, looking down at Ryuko. “What if we use bait?”

“What?!” Ryuko looked up, her frown deepening.

“I’m listening.” Houka said, ignoring Ryuko.

“I say that we have Matoi go over there to say hi, then Satsuki will leave Satan, and hopefully she won’t hurt anyone.”

“Who is Satan?” Ryuko asked, looking back at the pretty blonde. “Are they dating, or…”

Both Uzu and Houka laughed at that.

“That’s Nui, Satsuki’s little sister.” Houka said, still chortling.

“And even if they weren’t related, they wouldn’t date.” Uzu added. “Nui is the worst human on earth. I once saw her punch a police horse in the face.”

“The horse?” Ryuko’s eyes widened. “Why?”

“Satsuki and their mom are the only two people who understand what’s going on in Nui’s little brain.” Houka shrugged. “We can assume that she was angry at the officer, and the horse seemed like a worthy opponent. Though, Sanageyama mixed up his stories, she punched a regular horse and picked a fight with a police dog.”

“How can a horse be a ‘worthy opponent?’’ Ryuko asked, rolling her eyes.

“Have you ever seen a horse?” Uzu replied, running his fingers through his hair. “They’re all muscle and rage. One kick can kill you.”

“And she took one on?”

“It was insane.”

Ryuko watched at the blonde smacked a kiss to Satsuki’s cheek and skipped away, leaving the taller woman standing alone with a purple lipstick mark on her cheek. Uzu and Houka stepped forward, approaching their friend slowly, Ryuko trailing behind. Satsuki looked over at them, her glare landing on Ryuko.

“Look who we found.” Uzu said, gesturing to Ryuko. “All alone. Like an abandoned puppy, actually. It was so sad. Can we keep her?”

“Nonon would be upset,” Satsuki replied, her lips quirking into a small grin. “We already have a dog, don’t we, Inumuta?”

Houka chuckled lightly. “You’re in a pleasant mood, I see.”

“Nui just left.” Satsuki said, looking up toward the sky. “It’s enough to make anyone happy.”

“What’d she want anyway?” Uzu asked, crossing his arms.

“To tell me that she and mother will be away for the weekend.” Satsuki shrugged. “A ‘mother-daughter retreat,’ I believe.”

“Why wouldn’t you be going, then?” Ryuko asked, making the others look at her, each with their own expression of disbelief. “You’re a daughter, right? So, wouldn’t it make sense if you go, too?”

“Oh, Matoi.” Satsuki shook her head, letting out a small chuckle. “What are you doing here, anyway? You don’t seem like the type who goes to football games.”

“Neither do you.” Ryuko shrugged. “But, if you must know, I was here with Mako, but she had a stupid plan to make me… get out of the apartment and make friends, so she’s off with your giant friend.”

“Gamagori isn’t the type to make his rounds with company.” Houka said, glancing at the scoreboard. “He must be smitten.”

“It’s almost time for the band.” Uzu sighed, turning toward the field. “Jakuzure would kill us if we didn’t watch.”

Satsuki crossed her arms as the buzzer signified the end of the second quarter. The band marched out, Ryuko recognized Nonon almost instantly. Their school colors were blue and white, Nonon wore bright pink. They were announced on the intercom, Nonon bowed a bit at the round of applause before the crowd went nearly silent.

“She just won another competition.” Houka said, making Ryuko’s brow furrow. “There’s a rumor that she’s the best drum major the band’s had in years.”

“It’s not a rumor,” Satsuki said, her eyes trained on the field. “Nonon excels at this.”

“Ryuko!” Mako called from behind as she ran up to hug her friend. “I knew we’d find you, Ira owes me five bucks.”

Ira rolled his eyes as he took his place beside Uzu.

The music began, and Ryuko couldn’t take her eyes off the field. She had no idea what song was playing, but it was beautiful. She’d have to ask Satsuki later. The band moved perfectly in sync across the field, creating intricate designs. She watched as Nonon, high on her stand directed the band, full of confidence that everything would go well, which it did.

Ryuko looked at Satsuki for a moment. The taller woman’s gaze did not waver as she watched, she was frowning, though that seemed to be the norm for her. After a moment, Satsuki glance down at Ryuko. Their eyes meeting momentarily before Ryuko turned away, her cheeks burning.

The performance ended grandly, and the crowds applauded. Ryuko actually had to cover her ears due to how loudly the others cheered around her. Nonon took another bow before leading her band off the field.

“Should we go visit the superstar?” Uzu suggested, jabbing his thumb to where Nonon exited. “We’re not gonna win the game, anyway.”

Ryuko glanced at the scoreboard. Their school was down forty points. “God, when did we get so awful?”

“Not sure.” Uzu shrugged as they walked to where the band would be changing. “Inumuta?”

“Two years ago.” Houka replied after checking his phone.

“Ryuko,” Mako whispered into Ryuko’s ear. “Why are you talking to those boys? I thought you had a crush on Satsuki…”

Ryuko’s eyes widened and her cheeks turned pink as she looked down at Mako. “I do not have a crush!” She hissed back.

“Do so!”

“Do not!”

“Do so!”

“Do not!”

“You so do.” Mako said, moving away. “And I went through all the trouble to get you time with her, and this is how you repay me?”

Ryuko just rolled her eyes and stuffed her hands in her pockets, watching as Mako flitted over to Ira.

They waited outside the band hall until Nonon exited, looking thoroughly pleased with herself. “How was it?” She asked, it was obvious that she already knew the answer.

“Amazing, as always.” Satsuki replied with a hint of a smile as she leaned down to hug her friend. “You certainly excel at your work.”

“I know.” Nonon said with a grin. “But it’s still nice to hear every once and a while.” She glanced around at the others, her gaze landing on Ryuko. “What’s the Piss Baby doing here?”

“Matoi tagged along.” Satsuki shrugged. “I hope that’s not a problem.”

“Whatever.” Nonon rolled her eyes. “So, Matoi, did you enjoy the performance?”

“It was really good.” Ryuko replied grudgingly. She really wanted to say that it was terrible, but she couldn’t lie that well.

“Well, at least she has some taste.” Nonon looked at Uzu and Houka. “I know what the Frog was up to,” She cast Mako a quick glance. “What about Mr. Trash Monkey and the Mutt?”

“We found Matoi all alone.” Uzu said with a sarcastic smile. “Thought we’d make sure that Satsuki knew about her being here before one of them was crushed by something.”

“What, did you watch _Final Destination_ on cable last night?” Nonon rolled her eyes and looked at Houka. “Are we still losing?”

“Terribly, but your performance brought morale up forty percent.” Houka said.

“How the fuck would you know that?” Nonon grumbled, only for Ira to speak up.

“We’re on school grounds, Jakuzure. Please don’t swear.” He said firmly.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?”

Ryuko snorted, earning an amused look from Satsuki.

“Let’s get out of here.” Nonon said, leading them all back toward the field. “I love my band to pieces, but damn they can get whiny after a performance.”

“That’s because you don’t let them eat on game days.” Satsuki replied, making Ryuko’s brow furrow.

“I’m not going to let anyone puke on my field.”

“Your field?” Uzu laughed, shooting Ryuko a grin.

“Yes, _my_ field.” Nonon snapped, crossing her arms. “No one comes to watch football, they come to watch my band. Ergo, my field.”

“Fine, it’s your field.” Uzu shrugged. “You’ll never guess who we saw today.”

“Who?”

“Satan.”

“Aw shit, is she still here?” Nonon looked at Satsuki pleadingly.

“No, she left.”

“Thank god, she’s evil.”

“You’re one to talk.” Uzu sneered, laughing when Nonon flipped him off.

“Who’s evil?” Mako asked, looking at Ryuko curiously.

“Satsuki’s sister.”

“Is she?”

“I haven’t met her, but apparently she punched a horse and picked a fight with a police dog.”

“Wow, she’s a bad ass, then.”

“Or she’s insane.”

They fell silent and watched the rest of the game. Their school lost by forty-seven points. It was disappointing, but not surprising in the least. Ryuko took one last look at the field before turning to ask Mako if she was ready to go.

“Oi, Ass Nugget!” Nonon called, making Ryuko look up. When did she start answering to ass nugget? “We’re getting dinner after this, want in?”

“Uh…” Ryuko looked at the expectant faces surrounding her.

“I’ll pay for you.” Satsuki said, looking at her watch. “Did you drive?”

“No, Mako and I walked.” Ryuko shook her head. Their apartment was barely two blocks away from the stadium, and they weren’t about to waste gas any time soon.

“You can ride with Nonon, Inumuta, and I.” Satsuki replied, looking at Ira. “You can drive Sanageyama and Mankanshoku, yes?”

“Of course.” Ira nodded.

They walked to the parking lot in silence, mostly silence, really. Uzu, Houka, and Nonon snarked at each other, while Ira tried to stop them from being offensive. Mako tried to add her two cents, but she was immediately shut down by Nonon. Ryuko glanced over at Satsuki, who had an amused smile on her face as she listened to her friends.

“Your friends are complete idiots.” Ryuko said, only making Satsuki chuckle.

“So is yours.” Satsuki replied when they reached her car. “Matoi, you sit in the front.”

“What?” Nonon looked scandalized, climbing into the back seat with Houka nonetheless. “Why does Shit Stain get to sit in the front?”

“I almost got a ticket last time I let you sit in the front.” Satsuki said, climbing into the car. “Hurry up, Matoi.”

Ryuko nodded and did as she was told.

“Did you really almost get a ticket?” Ryuko asked as Satsuki started her car.

“Yes, it was lucky that Nonon had her ID on her.”

“Wow.”

“It wasn’t that bad.” Nonon muttered, leaning forward to fiddle with the radio. “Besides, I drive, too.”

“You’ve been pulled over before.” Satsuki said, allowing Nonon to play around with the stations while Houka put on some head phones.

“That was twice.” Nonon replied, finally settling on a station that was playing Beyoncé. “I fucking hate the radio, why don’t you just let me plug in my iPod?”

“Because if I did that, we’d be listening to Beethoven’s greatest hits for the rest of our lives. Enjoy the Beyoncé.”

“Yeah, whatever…” Nonon rolled her eyes and fell back into her seat.

“You don’t seem like a Beyoncé fan.” Ryuko said, turning to look at Nonon.

“Everyone on earth is a Beyoncé fan, Ass Wiper.”

“Yes, I do wipe my ass, do you not?”

“You win this round.”

“Round? What the hell?”

“Will the both of you stop talking?” Satsuki grumbled, stopping at a red light and casting the both of them a glare. “I swear, you’re both terrible.”

“She’s worse.” Nonon muttered, crossing her arms petulantly. “And she smells like shit.”

“I said stop.” Satsuki said, glancing over at Ryuko, daring her to say something.

The light turned green, and Satsuki accelerated, turning her attention back on the road. They were in the middle of the intersection when Ryuko looked out the window, her eyes widening at what she saw. There was a car speeding toward them.

“Satsuki!” Ryuko shouted.

With reflexes that almost seemed too fast, Satsuki managed to swerve out of the way. Barely. The oncoming car hit the back end of Satsuki’s. They were sent into a spin, everyone lurching forward as they were thrown about the car. Satsuki had her foot slammed on the brake, hoping to slow them. Ryuko felt her head hitting the window and the seatbelt digging into her chest, it was definitely going to leave a mark.

They managed to slow, only after hitting a mailbox. The car stopped and everyone lurched forward again. Ryuko pressed a palm to her forehead, feeling blood. The window was cracked, and some of the glass was in her wounds.  

“Is everyone alright?” Satsuki asked, everyone groaned in response.

 “I’m fine.” Houka managed as he tested his door. It wasn’t opening. “But I may be slightly trapped.”

“What the fuck was that?” Nonon exclaimed, while Houka untangled himself from his headphones. “Who the fuck was that asshole!?”

“I don’t know…” Satsuki muttered, wincing as she unbuckled. “Matoi, are you alright?”

“I’m… I’m okay.” Ryuko nodded, holding her palm firmly on her forehead, trying to slow the bleeding. “Way to make sure no one died.”

“I’m going to call the police.” Satsuki opened her door with some difficulty and stepped out. “I hope they never catch whoever did this, so I can hunt them down…”

Ryuko opened her door and helped Nonon and Houka get out before looking at the damage that was done by the other car. It wasn’t good. The entire trunk was mangled, the back bumper was going to fall off

“Shit, Matoi.” Nonon muttered, looking up at Ryuko’s forehead. “You’re bleeding.”

“Satsuki’s calling the police, they should bring a paramedic to stitch you up as well.” Houka was rubbing at his neck where a bruise was sure to form. “I should tell the others.”

“Yeah, the fucking Frog is going to be so calm and collected.” Nonon rolled her eyes as she walked over to where Satsuki was. “You alright?”

“I’m fine.” There was a gash on Satsuki’s left cheek and a few scratches on her face and neck, but she was otherwise unscathed. “They’re sending some people down so we can file a report.” She took in a deep breath. “How am I going to explain this to mother?”

“Shit, your mom…” Nonon muttered. “Sorry, Satsuki…”

The police arrived with EMTs and looked everyone over. It turned out that Ryuko would need stitches for her forehead, as did Satsuki for her cheek. They were loaded into the back of the ambulance while Nonon and Houka waited for Mako, Ira, and Uzu to arrive. Ryuko wanted to fight against being put in a neck brace, but apparently it was a formality and they couldn’t fight it. Or so Satsuki said.

The ride to the hospital was quick, though Ryuko wanted to vomit when she was wheeled in on a gurney. Apparently there was a chance that she had a concussion, Ryuko took solace in the fact that Satsuki had to suffer from the bright light in her eyes too. Though it was all in vain, neither of them were concussed, but Ryuko knew she would be sore in the morning.

“I hate everything.” Ryuko muttered as the doctor stitched her up.

“Don’t be a wimp, Matoi.” That was easy for Satsuki to say, she only needed four stitches, Ryuko needed nine.

“Don’t tell me what to do!” Ryuko snapped, trying not to move. “This is all your fault! You’re the one who invited me to dinner and got us hit by a car!”

“There, you’re done.” The doctor offered Ryuko a smile before handing the nurse a chart and leaving.

“Miss Kiryuin, your mother is here for you.” Another nurse said as she walked up to them. “And Miss Matoi, you have a visitor.”

Mako followed closely behind the nurse, looking as though she were about to vomit. “You almost died!” She exclaimed, throwing her arms in the air and running toward the two of them. “Are you okay?!”

“I’m fine.” Ryuko muttered, watching as Satsuki hopped out of her bed. “Are you allowed to do that?”

“My mother is here. She’s my ride.” Was all Satsuki said as she walked out of the room, one of the nurses on her tail.

“I had to call your dad.” Mako mumbled, leaning against one of the machines. “For insurance and stuff…”

“Did they find out who hit us?”

“No, but the cops think it might have been a drunk driver.”

“Of course.”

“At least no one’s seriously hurt.”

“Yeah, you don’t have stitches on your face.”

“Did you make out with Satsuki on the way here?”

“How the fuck would I manage to do that? Even if I wanted to?”

“I don’t know…”

“I’m never letting you drag me anywhere ever again.”

“How was I supposed to know that you’d get hit by a car?”


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mako and Ryuko go to a bar. Mako is the designated driver.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own Kill la Kill

 

Ryuko stared at her reflection in the bathroom mirror, her eyes lingering on the large bandage on her forehead. She had tried to hide it under her bangs, but whenever she did, Ryuko looked like she was going through her scene phase again. Or that’s what Mako had said.

She still had a couple bruises on her face where her head hit the window, though they had turned from sickening purple to yellow now. Her scratches had mostly healed also, and the cut from the seatbelt was doing pretty well, too.

“You ready, Ryuko?” Mako called from the living room. “Come on! I’m hungry!”

“Hold on!” Ryuko shouted back, gently prodding the bandage before wincing. “It’s not like the bar is closing any time soon.”

“That doesn’t mean I stop being hungry though.” Mako muttered as Ryuko left the bathroom. “How’s your face?”

“It’s alright. I just want to drink twelve beers and pass out in the car.” Ryuko said, tossing on her jacket. “You sure you want to drive?”

“I don’t plan on drinking, so don’t worry about it.” Mako said, holding out her hands. “Okay, now gimme the keys!”

Ryuko rolled her eyes and handed over her keys. “You’re really excited for this, huh?”

“I haven’t driven in so long, I’m kind of excited.”

“Yeah, okay. Just tone down the road rage.”

“I’m not that bad!”

Ryuko just rolled her eyes and slipped her shoes on. “Ready to go?”

Mako had to be reminded to lock the door when they left, though Ryuko was sure that they needed to re-lock the door. They climbed into the car, Mako in the drivers’ seat. Normally Ryuko did not like it when Mako drove, the small woman had a surprisingly bad problem with her road rage.

They managed to get to the bar with relative ease. Not many people were in the bar, just a few sad looking middle aged men and a few college kids. Ryuko led Mako to a corner booth, and they sat down. A waitress came over to them after a few minutes, taking their orders.

“I want a hamburger.” Mako said, looking at Ryuko. “And a coke, I’m driving tonight.”

“I’ll have a beer.” Ryuko rolled her eyes at her friend. “And keep ‘em coming.”

The waitress nodded and left.

“Why do you wanna drink anyway?” Mako asked, leaning forward onto the table.

“It’s nothing.” Ryuko shrugged. “Just annoyed. You know how my dad can be.”

“What’d he do now?”

“He’s just annoying.”

“Sorry…” Mako sighed, looking around. “You can tell me about it if you want.”

“Thanks, Mako.”

They sat in silence until Ryuko’s beer and Mako’s food arrived. Ryuko sipped at her beer, listening while Mako told her all about her dates with Ira. Though, since it was Mako, the conversation turned into her listing off her favorite pies.

“I didn’t know that so many different pies existed.” Ryuko muttered when Mako went on about rhubarb.

“Pies are amazing.” Mako sighed with a satisfied grin. “There are thousands. Pies are the reason why I live.”

“Really?” Ryuko raised her eyebrows.

“Okay, maybe not just pie. I love you, too. But pies come first.”

“I understand.”

“What do you love?”

“Mako, I know what you’re trying to do.” Ryuko said with a frown. “Stop it.”

“Stop what?” Mako asked innocently. “I’m just trying to get you a girlfriend.”

“I don’t want a girlfriend, Mako.”

“But Satsuki is perfect for you!” Mako threw her hands in the air.

“You don’t even know her!” Ryuko snapped, slamming her beer down.

“I know that you like her.” Mako crossed her arms over her chest.

“How can you possibly know that?”

“Because she’s pretty.”

“So?”

“And you get all flustered and pink when she’s around you.”

“And I get in car crashes-“

“That was one time, and it was a drunk driver. She did everything right!”

“And the elevator.”

“That wasn’t her fault.”

“I almost got hit by a car!”

“She saved you!”

“Whatever.” Ryuko rolled her eyes and crossed her arms. “I don’t like her.”

“Yes you do.”

“She’s insane.”

“So are you.”

“Her friends are freaks.”

“So am I.”

“And she has a sister who punches horses.”

“The sister you’ve always wanted.”

Ryuko grunted and drank the rest of her beer before giving Mako a glare. They sat in silence for a moment, staring each other down. The door to the bar opened, and a few people walked in. Mako seemed to find the people walking in to be very interesting, but to be fair, Mako loved people watching.

“What’s up, Mako?” Ryuko asked, making a move to turn around and look toward the door.

“Just a guy with a mustache.” Mako shrugged.

Ryuko nodded when she saw the man. “He’s got soup or something in his face hair… Is that what you were staring at?”

“What else would I stare at?” Mako let out a nervous laugh and jumped to her feet. “I have to pee.”

“God, you have the bladder of a squirrel.” Ryuko rolled her eyes as Mako walked away.

Not even four seconds after Mako left, two middle aged men slid into her vacated spot. They both had wedding rings on, and one of them had a scruffy beard. Both of them had graying hair on their heads and looked older than Ryuko’s actual father. She felt like she was going to puke.

“What do you want?” She grumbled, glaring at the men.

“Well, we’re just wondering why a pretty girl like you is all by yourself…” The chubbier of the men said, leering at her.

“I’m not all by myself.” Ryuko replied, her lips curling into a scowl. “My friend is around here somewhere... So, you guys should get going. I’m not alone.”

“You are right now.” The thin man said, trying to look kind, but failing. Ryuko could feel their eyes on her. She knew what they were thinking about, and it made her sick. “Mind if we keep you company?”

“Yeah, actually, I do.” Ryuko growled, slamming her fist on the table. “So scram, why don’t you go home to your wives, huh?”

“What happened to your forehead, Cutie?” Chubby asked, leaning forward.

“I got it in a fight. Some fuck wad was trying to hit on me, even though I wasn’t interested.” Ryuko replied. “It got ugly.”

“You’ve got some damn nerve, you little-“ Before the thin man could finish his insult, Ryuko felt a body slide next to her gracefully.

“Play along.” A smooth voice whispered in her ear, making Ryuko turn pink. She knew that voice.

Satsuki Kiryuin was sitting beside her, a frown plastered on her face as she looked down at Ryuko. She leaned over, her lips barely touching Ryuko’s ear. “I’m sorry about this.” She whispered before pressing a kiss to Ryuko’s cheek.

“Sorry I took so long.” Satsuki muttered, taking Ryuko’s hand in her own as she slid a glass of clear liquid and another beer onto the table. “I think the bartender is new…” She looked over to the two men and feigned surprise. “Hello, who are you?”

“We… uh…” The chubby man stuttered, standing up as Satsuki raised her eyebrow challengingly at them. “We’re just leaving.”

“Please do that.” Satsuki said, leaning down toward Ryuko again, this time capturing her lips. “My girlfriend doesn’t appreciate your advances, do you?”

“No, I don’t.” Ryuko replied, glaring at the men as they left.

“Sorry about that.” Satsuki slid out of the booth and grabbed her clear drink before sitting across from Ryuko. Her brow was furrowed and she was looking at her lap as she spoke. “I saw that you were having trouble with them and I…”

“Thanks.” Ryuko muttered, making Satsuki look up. “You helped me out of a jam. Thanks. And… uh… you’re not a bad kisser, so…”

Satsuki’s lips quirked up into a small smile. “Thank you.” She took a sip of her drink. “I got you another beer… I hope that’s okay.”

“Yeah, it’s fine.” Ryuko took the bottle and took a sip. “Thanks.”

“It’s no problem.” Satsuki looked up suddenly. “Why is your friend frantically waving at me?”

“Huh?” Ryuko turned to see Mako doing just that. “She’s insane.”

“I know how that is.” Satsuki took a sip of her drink and stood. “I should go.”

“NO!” Mako roared from across the bar, storming over. “No! You have to stay!”

“What?” Satsuki and Ryuko asked together, Satsuki looked confused, while Ryuko turned bright pink.

“Did I say that out loud?” Mako mumbled, rubbing the back of her neck. Her cheeks were flushed. “I-I meant that… I want to go home.”

“Okay.” Ryuko stood up and went to grab her jacket. “Let’s go.”

“Not like that!” Mako said, throwing her hands in the air. “You want to drink more! And Satsuki should babysit you!”

“I don’t need a babysitter.” Ryuko snapped, crossing her arms. “And I don’t want to drink more.”

“You had two beers.”

“So?”

“You wanted to drink until you passed out in the backseat!”

“Fine.” Ryuko sat down, not taking off her jacket. She looked up at Satsuki with a frown. “You don’t mind do you?”

“I have nothing better to do.” Satsuki sat down with a shrug, glancing up at Mako. “I’ll make sure she gets home safely.”

“Great!” With that, Mako turned her heel and skipped out.

“Your friend is interesting.” Satsuki mumbled, playing with her drink now.

“Yeah, she’s great.” Ryuko nodded. “I love her.” Satsuki raised an eyebrow. “Not like that, you freak! Just friendship love, you know?”

Satsuki nodded and frowned. “This isn’t how I thought my night would turn out.”

“Me neither.” Ryuko sighed, looking out the window as Mako climbed into the car. “I just wanted to drink until I passed out.”

“That seems excessive.”

“Well, why are you all alone?”

“I… needed to get away.” Satsuki sighed, getting the attention of the waitress before downing her drink. “Another vodka tonic.”

“You drink vodka tonics?” Ryuko grimaced. “That’s gross, dude.”

“You drink beer.” Satsuki said, making a disgusted face. “That’s rather vile, isn’t it?”

“Beer tastes better than your nasty shit.”

“I doubt that.”

Ryuko rolled her eyes and looked at Satsuki’s drink. Her hand was firmly clasped around the glass. There was a pale mark on Satsuki’s hand, a perfect white circle. It couldn’t be a birthmark, Ryuko was sure of it.

“What’s up with your hand?” Ryuko asked, not taking her eyes off the mark.

“This?” Satsuki pointed to the mark. Ryuko nodded. “It’s a scar.” She turned her hand to show Ryuko a twin scar on the palm of her hand. “My sister shot me with a nail gun.”

“Your sister?” Ryuko gaped, looking at the scar on Satsuki’s hand. “The blonde?!”

“Yes.” Satsuki nodded, looking at her hand. “I was eleven and Nui was eight.”

“Eight?!” Ryuko leaned back in her seat with surprise. “What the-?! I need to hear the whole story. You can’t just drop this bomb and expect me to ask questions.”

Satsuki rolled her eyes and told her tale. According to Satsuki, their family was having their beach house renovated, and their mother had taken the two of them with her to oversee the construction. One of the contractors had left his nail gun out in the open. Nui, who had been where she wasn’t supposed to be, had found it handily and went to show Satsuki, who had been reading a book at the time.

When Satsuki saw the nail gun, she immediately went to tell their mother, only to be tackled to the ground by Nui. They had tousled for a bit until Nui managed to pin Satsuki’s arm to a tree and nail her hand to it. She had sat there for twenty minutes before one of the contractors found her.

“What did your mom do?” Ryuko asked, looking at Satsuki’s hand.

“She told me that it was my fault for… what was it…” Satsuki took in a deep breath. “Provoking her. That’s right. I was ‘provoking my sister.’ My mother called the EMTs. I passed out after that. And I’m not completely sure what how I was removed from the tree…”

She looked down at her hand with a frown. “How did your father react to our accident?”

Ryuko knew a topic change when she saw one, but decided not to push it. “He was definitely surprised, but not really mad.” She shrugged. “I mean, he asked who was driving and all that crap, but… He didn’t push it. You?”

“My mother cancelled her and Nui’s retreat and then decided that I was to be bed ridden for a week.” Satsuki sighed, playing with her glass again. “She always blows things out of proportion.”

“All you had was a cut on your cheek.” Ryuko said with a frown. “It’s healing pretty well, too.”

“Thank you.” Satsuki touched the now faded mark on her cheek. “Your forehead…”

“Oh, it’s still tender, but… it’s healing.” Ryuko shrugged. “How’re the other two?”

“They’re both alright. Though, Nonon is still very pissed about the accident.”

“How’s your car?”

“My mother told me to get another one, so it’s still in the shop.”

“You find out who did it?”

Satsuki looked livid for a moment. “No. The police didn’t find the person.”

“Sorry.”

“It’s for the best. If I were to find whoever destroyed my car...”

“You’d probably kill the poor bastard.”

“I don’t like it when people break my things.” Satsuki took another drink.

Ryuko nodded and took another drink of her beer. They drank in mostly silence for a while, the only conversation being small talk mostly. After two more beers, Ryuko finally felt like she had drank enough. She rested her head on the table and looked at Satsuki.

“H-how much did you… drink?” Ryuko asked with a burp.

“Two drinks.” Satsuki said, standing up. “I’ll pay your tab, don’t move, okay?”

Ryuko groaned and grabbed her jacket off the seat again, tossing it on her shoulders and trying to get her arms in. It didn’t work out very well, and Ryuko was thankful that Satsuki came to her rescue. She helped Ryuko into the jacket with relative ease before helping her out of the bar.

“Mako should have told me how much you could handle.” Satsuki muttered as she hailed a cab. “Where do you live, Matoi?”

“Uh… I don’t…” Ryuko leaned her head on Satsuki’s shoulder.

Satsuki rolled her eyes and told the driver her own address. “I’m calling Mankanshoku when we get back to my home. How could I think that you’d know your own address?”

“You’re really pretty.” Ryuko said, nuzzling closer to Satsuki. “And super nice… No you aren’t… But you’re sorta nice… super sorta nice.”

“Matoi, you’re drooling on my shirt.” Satsuki sighed, patting Ryuko’s arm.

“You have others.” Ryuko muttered with a yawn. “Mako thinks I have a crush on you.”

“Interesting.”

“I don’t. But you make me blush a lot, so Mako just thinks that, I have a big lesbian crush on you or something.”

“But you don’t.”

“No, you’re not my type. You’re gorgeous, but… Gorgeous is my type. You are my type, but I don’t have a crush on you.”

“That’s enough, Matoi.”

The cab pulled up and Satsuki paid the driver before helping Ryuko out. Normally, Ryuko would try to downplay how amazing she thought the Kiryuin mansion was, but she was drunk and she thought it was awesome. The whole mansion was bigger than Ryuko’s entire apartment building. In fact, it could probably hold two of the buildings inside.

“Wow…” Ryuko looked up at the home while Satsuki helped her inside. “Why is your house so big?!”

“My mother has a flair for the dramatics.” Satsuki sighed, opening the doors and slipping inside. “Try not to make a mess.”

The moment the words left her mouth, Ryuko broke a vase. “Thank you, Matoi.” She sighed. “You’re lucky my mother isn’t home.”

“Why’re all these walls so white?” Ryuko asked, looking at the walls around her.

“My mother has a thing for purity.” Satsuki said, leading Ryuko into a living room of some kind. “Lie on the sofa and give me your cellphone.”

“Why?” Ryuko started fishing around in her pockets before finally finding her phone. “Got it!”

“Thank you.” Satsuki rolled her eyes and took the phone. “What’s your passcode?”

Ryuko didn’t answer.

“Matoi, passcode?”

Satsuki was met with a loud snore, telling her that her companion was asleep.

“You’re more trouble than you’re worth.” Satsuki muttered, pulling out her own cellphone and dialing Ira’s number. “Gamagori. I need Mankanshoku’s phone number.” 


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ryuko wakes up somewhere unfamiliar. She also might be a little hungover.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own anything

Ryuko awoke the next morning to a massive headache and an unfamiliar home. She pulled herself off the white sofa, which let’s be honest, probably cost more than the rent for her apartment, and looked around. The walls were all painted such a bright white that it would hurt Ryuko’s eyes if the lights were on, they were adorned with strange paintings, mostly of a very pale, but attractive, woman with silver hair. She was dressed in elegant gowns and furs. Ryuko furrowed her brow as she studied the largest painting, she woman bore a striking resemblance to Satsuki.

“Shit.” Ryuko sat up quickly before bringing her hand to her forehead, wincing when she touched her bandage.

“You’re awake.” Satsuki’s voice rang out from inside the room, making Ryuko open her eyes and turn toward the doorway. “Did you know that you mutter in your sleep?” She asked, a teasing glint in her eyes as she walked forward. “I thought you had woken up three times already.”

“Yeah, it freaks Mako out too.” Ryuko stretched, watching as Satsuki placed a glass of water and a couple Aspirin on the coffee table beside her. “Speaking of… Does she know that I’m… you know, here?”

“I called her last night.” Satsuki said, crossing her arms and looking around the room with a look of extreme distaste. “Don’t forget to use the coaster, my mother would have an aneurism if there were rings on her favorite coffee table.”

“How’d you get her number?” Ryuko asked, making sure to place the glass on the coaster after she took the pills. “My phone has a passcode, and I don’t remember telling it to you.”

“You didn’t.” Satsuki rolled her eyes. “I had to call Gamagori, who did not appreciate being awakened at two in the morning. He told me to tell you that. Mankanshoku knows that you’re here. She also gave me your number in case I ever need to ‘call you sometime.’ Tell me, is she always this pushy about you making friends?”

“Honestly?” Ryuko couldn’t believe how oblivious Satsuki was. Even when she was confronted with Mako, who was the most obvious person Ryuko knew. Satsuki had to be playing dumb to spare Ryuko’s feelings. Or at least she was in denial. “Yes. She’s the pushiest. If she didn’t tell me that she loved me every day, I’d assume she was trying to get rid of me.”

Satsuki hummed, looking at Ryuko’s clothes with a critical eye. “You slept in that. Would you like to borrow something for today?”

“What?”

“Mankanshoku told me to spend the day with you.” Satsuki said, rolling her eyes. “I don’t have anything better to do.”

“Mako’s great, isn’t she?” Ryuko asked, her tone dripping with sarcasm as she stood. “You’re like a foot taller than I am, how could your clothes possibly fit me?”

Satsuki furrowed her brow. “I’m four inches taller, at most.” She said with a glance. “Three if you stood straight up.”

“Where do you keep your clothes?” Ryuko rolled her eyes.

It was Satsuki’s turn to roll her eyes as she turned her heel and left the room. “Come with me.” She called from the hall.

Ryuko followed her.

Satsuki kept a quick pace as she led Ryuko through the halls and up two flights of stairs, not leaving the younger woman much time to inspect her home very thoroughly. From what she could see, the walls were still adorned with paintings, though most of them were of more than one person, rather than the silver haired woman from the previous room. Though, the silver haired woman was still in most of them.

Ryuko stopped at a particularly large portrait in the center of the hall. It was almost twice her height and more than three times her width. The silver haired woman stood beside an attractive man, both of them smiling. In the man’s arms was an infant wearing a frilly dress with tufts of blonde hair sticking up. Finally, standing in front of the silver haired woman was a young child with dark hair, she didn’t look older than four.

“Hey, who’s that lady?” Ryuko blurted, making Satsuki stop walking for a moment. “The one in all the paintings?”

“I hoped you wouldn’t notice.” Satsuki said with a dry smile. “That… is my mother.”

“You look like her.” Ryuko noted, gesturing to the woman’s face. “Same jaw, I think.”

“Hmm.” Satsuki hummed, not looking at the painting. “Come on, it’s not that far now.”

“Why does your mom have so many pictures of herself?” Ryuko asked, following Satsuki again. “I mean, she’s pretty, but isn’t that a bit excessive?”

“She has a nude portrait of herself in her bedroom.” Satsuki said, opening the door at the end of the hall. “This is my bedroom.”

Ryuko stepped inside and gaped at the sheer size of the room. It was almost as big as her apartment. In fact, Ryuko was sure that she could fit all of her and Mako’s furniture in the room without any trouble. The walls were painted the palest of blues, unlike the rest of the house, and there were no paintings on the walls. It was a relief to not have Satsuki’s mom staring at her.

“Here.” Ryuko turned only to be met with a t-shirt to the face. “Put that on.”

“Thanks.” She looked down at the shirt, reading in big, black letters; _REVOCS APPAREL_ over the chest. “Your mom works for REVOCS, then?”

“She owns REVOCS.” Satsuki corrected as she stepped into her closet, presumably to get changed.

“Wow…” Ryuko peeled off her shirt and pulled the REVOCS one on quickly. It was slightly too big for her, but she’d manage. “That’s really cool.”

“I suppose.” Satsuki stepped out of the closet a moment later. She was dressed like she was ready for a photo shoot or something, making Ryuko feel slightly underdressed. “Put these on, too.” She handed Ryuko a pair of jeans. “They’re mine from a few years ago, they should fit.”

Satsuki turned her back as she allowed Ryuko to change out of her dirty jeans. “So, who else was in that huge painting?” Ryuko asked when she was finished. “I mean, your mom obviously, but… who were the other people?”

“The man was my father.” Satsuki replied, turning around. “And the two girls are Nui and I.”

“You were… cute.” Ryuko shrugged, glancing around the room. “What are we gonna do today?”

“It’s almost noon, so we should get lunch before anything.” Satsuki said, looking at her watch. “I think we should go out to lunch, don’t you?”

“You’d have to pay.” Ryuko said, fishing her phone out of her dirty jeans and putting them in her pocket.

“Does it seem like a problem?” Satsuki asked, her lips quirking up into a small smile.

“I don’t know, maybe your mom spent all her money on this huge ass house.”

“She was left this house in her father’s will before I was born. We came from money.”

“Then you made more?”

“My mother is ambitious… It’s her best quality.”

Ryuko frowned at Satsuki’s scowl. “Is she really that bad?”

“She’s awful.”

“And your dad doesn’t stop her? Is he just a trophy husband or something?”

“My father was not a trophy husband.” Satsuki said as she walked toward the door. “He died when I was five.” After a moment of silence, Satsuki continued. “You have no tact, Matoi. This is why Mankanshoku is your only friend.”

“I am so sorry.” Ryuko said, wanting to smack herself. “I swear, if I knew… Well, I mean, obviously I wouldn’t make the joke. Shit, I’m sorry.”

“It’s alright.” Satsuki glanced at her watch. “Come on, I want to get out of here before Nui gets home.”

“Your sister?”

“Yes, I try to avoid her whenever possible. Can we please leave now?”

“Yeah, sure.”

Satsuki led Ryuko to the front door, where they slipped on their shoes and jackets before leaving. They walked to one of the garages that weren’t attached to the main house, and Ryuko was stunned by what she found inside. She had never seen so many cars in one place, with the exception of a car dealership.

“God, it’s like Batman’s garage.” Ryuko muttered, looking around. “You could’ve just left your car on the side of the road. What do you people even do with all of them?”

“… I’m not sure.” Satsuki walked to a simple silver sedan and climbed in. “Mother doesn’t drive them.”

“What does she drive?” Ryuko sat in the passengers’ side. “I bet it’s like a glittery tank or something right?”

“That’s more Nonon’s style.” Satsuki let out a light chuckle. “My mother prefers to ride in a limousine.”

“Why?”

“Because she can.”

Ryuko fell silent as Satsuki started the car and opened the garage door. She put the car into drive and sped out of the garage, Ryuko noticed Satsuki glancing out the window every few seconds. They were halfway down the street when a pale pink Audi made its way toward them. Satsuki sped up, while the Audi slowed.

The cars passed each other, and Satsuki looked like she was trying her hardest not to look over, but Ryuko didn’t have the same problem though. She glanced into the other car and saw a pretty blonde driving. She glanced into Satsuki’s car and offered a malicious grin to the older girl. Satsuki kept her eyes on the road, scowling as though she felt the smile.

“She saw you.” Satsuki sighed just as her cell phone started to vibrate, rattling the charger that is sat on. “I have to take this. Can you put it on speaker while I pull over?”

“Oh, okay.” Ryuko nodded, grabbing the cellphone and answering the phone.

“What do you want, Nui?” Satsuki asked as she pulled into a nearby lot.

_“Someone’s in a bad mood_. _”_ A girlish, teasing voice said with a laugh. _“I bet you didn’t get much sleep last night, huh? That girl in your car rode your bologna pony pretty hard, right?”_

“You and I both know that I don’t have a penis.” Satsuki said in a monotone. “And she and I weren’t doing anything last night.”

_“How am I supposed to know any better?”_ Nui asked, sounding mildly disappointed. _“We never talk anymore.”_

“What do you want?”

_“What do you want?”_ Nui mocked, deepening her voice to sound almost exactly like Satsuki. _“Gosh, you’re so rude! Can’t a girl want to call her big sis? Just to talk?”_

“What do you want?” Satsuki repeated.

_“I saw you with that girl.”_ Nui suddenly sounded serious. _“You better not catch anything. She looks… rugged.”_

“We didn’t do anything.”

_“Oh really? And how am I supposed to believe that?”_

“You’ll just have to take my word for it, then. Won’t you?”

_“You really didn’t do anything? Is she a man? Does this mean that you’re phase is over? Because Mom said you’d grow out of it, it’s funny how she’s always right isn’t it? Congrats, Sis. Now you can finally become a valuable member of society.”_

“I’m hanging up now.”

_“You’re such a sour puss, Satsuki.”_ Nui laughed, her tone light again. _“Mom’s coming back tomorrow night, she wants to have dinner. So take a break from your brooding and make sure you show up.”_

Satsuki merely ended the call and looked at Ryuko. “I’m sorry about that.”

“It’s whatever.” Ryuko shrugged, watching as Satsuki put her car into drive and drove out of the lot. “She’s not very pleasant is she?”

Satsuki’s lips merely quirked up into a small smile as she took a left at the end of the street.

“We’re not going anywhere fancy, right?” Ryuko asked, glancing out the window. “Because I don’t think rich people would like me very much.”

“I’m not taking you somewhere fancy.” Satsuki replied, moving to turn on the radio. “Especially not when you’re wearing that. You wouldn’t be allowed in the front door.”

“Thanks.” Ryuko rolled her eyes and looked over to the taller woman. “So, your friend said that your sister punched a horse in the face once. Is that true, or…?”

“Yes it’s true.” Satsuki nodded, frowning at the music that was playing.

“You’re not gonna elaborate at all?”

“I didn’t realize you wanted me to.”

“You can’t seriously think that you can tell me that your sister punched a horse in the face but not tell me the whole story!”

“It was my eighteenth birthday.” Satsuki sighed, not taking her eyes off the road. “And I had to ‘babysit’ Nui. She begged me to take her to the horse races-“

“Oh no…” Ryuko muttered, already knowing where the story was going.

“I took Sanageyama with me because he likes animals.” Satsuki continued. “I let Nui choose who we bet on, but we ended up losing. So, she went into the stables after the race and punched the winning horse in the mouth.”

“She’s like the human embodiment of ‘roid rage, holy shit.” Ryuko shook her head with a dry chuckle. “How do you live with her?”

“With great difficulty.” Satsuki turned into a parking lot and turned off the car. “We’re here.”

“Cool.” Ryuko opened the door and hopped out of the car.

She turned around to see that Satsuki had decided to take her to a small diner. There weren’t many other cars in the parking lot, and the building was small and old looking. Satsuki got out of the car and started walking toward the building, leaving Ryuko little time to catch up with her.

“Do you come here a lot?” Ryuko asked as Satsuki opened the door for her.

“Nui and my mother would never set foot in here.” Satsuki replied as they sat down at a booth in the back corner.

“So that’s a yes, then?”

Satsuki nodded as a waitress came over to give them their menus and take their drink orders.

They sat in silence for a couple minutes, not making eye contact. Ryuko hid her face behind her menu when she accidentally met Satsuki’s gaze, her cheeks turning slightly pink. She started tapping her fingers on the table, making Satsuki frown.

“Must you do this?” Satsuki asked, her tone incredibly bored as she spoke.

“Sorry.” Ryuko put her hands flat on the table and looked around. “So… uh… I didn’t do anything stupid last night, did I?”

“Not particularly, but you were rather annoying.” Satsuki said, setting down her menu and frowning. “You couldn’t remember where you lived, which is why you had to stay the night. I was in no condition to drive.”

“Sorry about that.”

“It’s alright. You’re a lightweight.”

“Yeah, I know.”

“And your friend was definitely excited to see that we were spending the night together.”

“She gets excited about butter, though…”Ryuko shrugged, looking up when the waitress arrived with their drinks and took their orders.

“You don’t seem like the kind of person who eats greasy diner food.” She said, allowing herself to glance at Satsuki’s chest and abdomen as she sipped her coke. “You seem more like a health nut to me…”

“I exercise a lot.” Satsuki replied, playing with her straw. “And I don’t eat here often, just when I need to get away.”

“Well, if I had a roid rage sister, I’d live here.”

Satsuki let out a light chuckle but said nothing.

“Here you are, ladies.” The waitress said as she came around with their food, placing a burger with fries in front of each woman.

“Thank you.” Satsuki said, offering a polite nod as the woman left.

Ryuko took a bite of her burger and let out a content groan. She hadn’t realized how hungry she was until then. All she wanted to do was keep shoving the burger into her mouth, and maybe figure out a way to eat Satsuki’s if she could manage. Satsuki eyed Ryuko for a moment, scowling at the way the Ryuko ate.

“You have ketchup on your chin.” Satsuki sighed, grabbing a napkin. “Lean forward, you absolute child.”

“Fine.” Ryuko rolled her eyes and did as she was told, frowning at the way Satsuki roughly wiped her chin.

“How do you even manage this?” Satsuki asked, putting the napkin aside and tossing a fry in her mouth. “You had one bite.”

“I like to live life to the fullest.” Ryuko said, taking another bite and making sure to splatter ketchup everywhere. “No regrets.”

“Don’t get anything on that shirt.” Satsuki tossed a couple napkins Ryuko’s way, looking positively repulsed.

“Don’t get your panties in a twist.” Ryuko tucked a napkin into the collar of her shirt. “See? It’s safe now.”

“You are a toddler.” Satsuki muttered, shaking her head.

“I’m charming.”

Satsuki didn’t respond.

“I am!” Ryuko growled, wiping her mouth with a napkin. “See?”

“You missed a spot.”

“Shit!”

Ryuko started to furiously wipe at her face, making sure to get every speck off of her. Satsuki watched with mild amusement as she sipped her drink. When Ryuko was finished, she gingerly picked up the burger and continued to eat it carefully.

“Happy?” She asked, her voice dripping with sarcasm.

“Well, I don’t feel the need to gag when I look at you.” Satsuki replied.

They ate in silence, or mostly silence. Ryuko was the loudest eater in history, and took great pleasure in annoying her companion by being even louder than usual. Satsuki, however; didn’t do much other than scowl at the noise as she ate silently, her eyes trained on Ryuko’s face.

Satsuki paid the bill after a while, and the two left after Satsuki wiped down Ryuko’s face for the second time. Ryuko climbed into Satsuki’s car grudgingly and buckled up when the taller woman joined her. She cast a look at Satsuki before starting to fiddle with the radio.

“There’s a station that only plays Britney Spears.” She said as Satsuki started to drive. “And I’m gonna find it.”

“I need directions to your home.” Satsuki replied, completely ignoring the younger woman. “Do you know this part of town, or do I have to drive to a landmark for you?”

“I think I know how to get home from here. I know my way around every part of town.”

Apparently, she didn’t though. Ryuko ended up getting the two of them hopelessly lost until Satsuki had had enough and just driven back to the bar from the night before. Thanks to Satsuki, Ryuko managed to get them to her building in less than ten minutes.

“Thanks.” Ryuko said, climbing out of the car. “For everything. You… uh, you were pretty awesome today. And yesterday.”

“It’s not a problem.” Satsuki rolled her eyes. “Just make sure you can get to your apartment without getting lost.”

“Yeah, fuck off.” Ryuko flipped Satsuki off and walked toward the front door. “Text me your number so I can bother you next time I’m bored.”

“That doesn’t sound pleasant.” Satsuki said. “I’d rather not be your plan b when Mankanshoku has plans with Gamagori.”

“I’m awesome, and you know it.” Ryuko opened the door to the building and stepped in.

She did, in fact, manage to make it to her and Mako’s apartment, only to be nearly tackled the moment she stepped in. Ryuko narrowly dodged Mako, before catching her friend before she could break something. Mako wrapped her arms around Ryuko and let out an excited squeal.

“How was your date?!” She asked, as Ryuko closed the door and half carried her into the living room. “Did you like my set up? I did sooo good!”

“It wasn’t a date.” Ryuko rolled her eyes, tossing Mako onto the sofa. “We drank, she took me home- Not like that, Mako- I slept on the couch, and then we went out for lunch.” Ryuko dug her cellphone out of her pocket. “And my phone died… Great.”

“Here.” Mako handed Ryuko the charger that was always near the sofa. “So you didn’t kiss?”

“No, Mako.” Ryuko plugged her phone in. “If I have a thousand texts from you, I swear…”

“You’re cranky. Did you not eat?”

“Satsuki took me out to lunch.”

“Like a date?”

“No, like an ‘I’m super fucking loaded and can spare some cash for a poor chick’ kinda thing.”

“You’re dumb.” Mako sighed, flopping back onto the sofa.

“Shut up, Mako.” Ryuko stood and stretched. “I’m gonna go take a nap.”

“What do I do if Satsuki calls?”

“Nothing. She won’t call. You’re on drugs.”


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ryuko is left alone to watch Discovery Channel and eat Fruit Roll Ups.

Ryuko stepped out of the bathroom, wearing only a pair of basketball shorts and a sports bra. She walked over to the living room, patting her wet hair with a towel as she went. Mako was already on the sofa, watching _High School Musical 2_ on Netflix with a bowl of popcorn on her lap. Ryuko sat down next to her, making Mako look over momentarily before turning her attention back to the screen.

“Why didn’t you tell me this was on?” Ryuko asked, tossing the towel aside and shaking her hair out.

“If I did, you wouldn’t have taken a shower.” Mako replied, offering the bowl of popcorn to Ryuko. “Want some?”

“Thanks.” Ryuko took a handful and looked at the screen. “Did they already sing on the baseball field?”

“Not yet.” Mako said, shoving a handful into her mouth. “I’d pause it for you if you took too long. I know it’s your favorite part.”

“The whole movie is my favorite part.” Ryuko said, glancing at her friend. “So, what are we doing today?”

“I might be hanging out with Ira later.” Mako replied with a shrug. “He’s never seen any _Disney_ movies, so that’s what we’re doing.”

Ryuko hummed. “His place, or…?”

“I’m not forcing you out of your own home.” Mako said. “Besides, Ira’s TV is at least four times bigger than ours, so…”

“I get it.” Ryuko flopped on top of Mako, making the now empty popcorn bowl fall to the ground. “You’re abandoning me. For a boy! Oh, Mako, look how low you’ve sank!”

“Get off!” Mako squealed, flailing her limbs about, trying in vain to get Ryuko off of her. “You’re heavy! Have you gained weight?”

“Not everyone is made of twigs and leaves!” Ryuko propped herself up with her left arm and flexed her right bicep in front of Mako. “See this? It’s called definition!”

“Nope.” Mako giggled, kicking her legs at Ryuko’s exposed abdomen. “It’s fat. You’re a chub! You’ve got invisible fat!”

“Invisible fat?” Ryuko sat back on her side of the sofa, smirking as Mako scrambled to sit up.

“Yeah, like a giant invisible sumo suit.”

“Oh really?”

“Yep.” Mako nodded. “You should really work on that invisible fat problem while I’m gone.”

“And how do you propose I do that?”

“Maybe you could invite-“

“No!” Ryuko exclaimed, her cheeks turning pink. “Will you stop with that? I don’t like her!”

“I’ll stop when you admit it.” Mako stood and shook out her clothes, causing stray pieces of popcorn to fall to the ground. “The first step to recovery is admitting that you have a problem, you know.”

“Shut up!” Ryuko snapped, looking at the screen just as the cast members made their way onto the baseball field. “It’s the best part!”

They watched the musical number is relative silence, apart from Mako singing along under her breath. When the number ended, Mako seemed intent to continue their earlier conversation, but Ryuko was lost to the film. Mako sighed and started watching with her.

After a few more minutes and no musical numbers to hold their attention, Mako’s cellphone started to ring. She took one look at it and stood, grabbing her shoes and her jacket, all the while trying not to look away from the movie. Ryuko, finding Mako’s display more entertaining than the film, decided to watch as her friend stumbled about the apartment.

“Don’t eat all the Cheetos while I’m gone!” Mako ordered as she slipped her shoes on.

“Whatever.” Ryuko nodded.

“And put on a shirt, I don’t care if you like being half naked, but it’s chilly out. I don’t want you getting sick.”

“Fine.”

“Oh, and _National Treasure_ is on tonight.” Mako said as she opened the door. “At five-ish, I think. It’s on the _History Channel_.”

“Sweet!” Ryuko grinned.

“I thought you’d like to know.” Mako nodded, leaving the apartment. “See ya later.”

“Kay, bye.” Ryuko gave a half wave as she fiddled with the remote to bring the TV back to cable. “Be safe.”

The door slammed shut, and Ryuko was alone. She had five and a half hours before _National Treasure_ would be on, though the current documentary about zombies seemed mildly interesting. With a grunt, Ryuko stood and stretched before walking toward the kitchenette and rifling in the cabinets. She bypassed the Cheetos, knowing full well that Mako would have an aneurysm if she ate them without her, instead going for the boxes of _Fruit Roll Ups_ and _Gushers_. She opened a packet of _Gushers_ and a _Roll_ _Up_ , before dumping the _Gushers_ onto the _Roll Up_ and folding it like a burrito.

“It’s made with real fruit…” She reasoned to herself, taking a bite out of her ‘burrito.’ “Yum.”

Ryuko put the boxes away, glancing at the TV every once and a while to make sure she didn’t miss out on any zombie knowledge. She was on her way back to the sofa when her phone let out a little ping, notifying her that she got a text. Taking one more bite out of her snack, Ryuko walked to the coffee table and grabbed her phone.

It was a text from Satsuki.

_“How do you feel about Nicolas Cage films?”_

Ryuko furrowed her brow and frowned before replying. _“wtf”_

Just as Ryuko turned her attention back to her show, her phone pinged again. _“One of the theaters is having a special viewing of Face/Off. Nonon has an extra ticket, if you want to join us.”_

Ryuko had half a mind to decline the offer solely based on the fact that she didn’t want to put a shirt on. But a free movie was a free movie, and Ryuko wasn’t about to pass up watching a 90’s cornball action flick with someone other than Mako to keep her company. She finished her ‘burrito’ and typed out a reply quickly.

_“sure when do u want me to show up?”_

Ryuko stood and walked to her bedroom to get dressed. She placed her phone on the dresser as she rifled through the drawers, silently cursing herself for never folding her clothes. She put on a plain white shirt and a pair of jeans before her phone pinged twice.

Both were from Satsuki _“You really couldn’t spell out ‘you?’ Seriously?”_ followed by _“We’ll pick you up in 20 minutes. Nonon says to wear something clean.”_

Ryuko rolled her eyes as she pulled on her socks before typing her message. _“ill text how i want thnx and i am wearing something clean but mayb ill spill something on it just to piss her off”_

Smiling to herself, Ryuko grabbed her scarf and left the room before plopping back onto the sofa. The zombie show had ran its course, and now something about alien invasions was on. Ryuko frowned, what did aliens invading have to do with history? But it was nice to see some clever ideas for surviving an ‘inevitable apocalypse.’

Just as the show was starting to get boring, Ryuko’s phone pinged. Satsuki was waiting outside the building. Ryuko tossed her scarf and jacket on and slipped on her shoes, before grabbing her keys and wallet, and turning off the TV. She took one look around the apartment before flicking off the lights and leaving.

Ryuko sent Satsuki a text, telling her that she was in the elevator and made her way down the steps. She ran through the lobby, opening the door only to frown at the sight in front of her. Satsuki’s car was parked outside, but there was a strange song booming from the speakers in a language that Ryuko didn’t recognize. The back window rolled down, revealing Nonon, who leaned out the window and started shouting.

“Get the fuck in the damn car, you god damn trash baby!”

Ryuko hesitated, but walked up to the passenger door and climbed in quickly. The music was louder on the inside, to no one’s surprise, but even though it sounded a little clearer, Ryuko still couldn’t name the language that the song was being sung in.

“What song is this?” Ryuko asked as Satsuki started to drive.

“ _Leck mich im Arsch._ ” Nonon grunted from the backseat, her arms crossed as she glared out the window. “It’s by Mozart.”

“Okay…” Ryuko’s brow furrowed, Nonon’s answer didn’t really help her at all.

“It’s German for ‘lick my ass.’” Satsuki supplied, not taking her eyes off the road.

“What?” Ryuko’s eyes widened. “Mozart wrote a song called ‘Lick my ass?’”

“Yes.” Satsuki nodded, just as the song changed.

“And I bet this is Beethoven’s ‘suck my dick,’ right?”

“I highly doubt it.”

“How can you be sure?”

“Because it’s not Beethoven. It’s Bach.”

Ryuko couldn’t will herself to respond, instead choosing to look out the window. Whatever was playing just sounded like a bunch of instruments angrily playing at once, but it kept Nonon from saying insults that totally weren’t hurtful in the slightest, so Ryuko didn’t really mind. She’d never admit it, but Ryuko periodically cast glances at Satsuki.

She didn't seem to notice, that or she didn’t care enough to acknowledge Ryuko’s looks. Her eyes were fixated on the road with some strange intensity that Ryuko couldn’t put a finger on. Who was intense about driving to see a shitty movie? Was Satsuki Kiryuin even a real person? There was no way that she was a real person.

“We’re here.” Satsuki said, pulling into a parking lot. “Nonon, turn this off.”

“But we haven’t even reached the good part.” Nonon muttered, clicking the music off nonetheless.

“There’s a good part?” Ryuko said, unbuckling her seatbelt.

“What are you saying you stupid piece of trash!?” Nonon exclaimed, leaning forward to look Ryuko in the eye. “You wouldn’t know good music if it bit you in the ass while singing _Wonderwall_!”

“I know good music!” Ryuko snapped back. “The kind that’s not just some weird chanting about licking someone’s butt!”

“Are you both done?” Satsuki asked from outside the car, tapping on the window irritably. “You both have different tastes in music, it’d be useless to just shout at each other about it. Now let’s go.”

“Whatever.” Nonon rolled her eyes and slid out of the car easily. “It’s not like I can talk some sense into you anyway.”

“Well, I don’t listen to pretentious assholes, so it wouldn’t work.” Ryuko muttered, following Nonon out of the car.

“Whatever.” Nonon sighed, stretching as she and Satsuki turned their heels and walked toward the building.

“Hey!” Ryuko turned and jogged after them with a frown. “You’re both assholes, you know that!”

“Don’t whine, Matoi.” Satsuki said without looking at Ryuko. “It’s unbecoming.”

“Well shit, I’ll have to remember that next time I wanna impress you.” Ryuko muttered, stuffing her hands in her pockets.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t quite catch that.”

“It wasn’t meant for you to hear!” Ryuko snapped.

“Then why say something?”

“I talk to myself, okay?! Is that a problem?”

“Not at all.” Satsuki said, opening the door for Ryuko and Nonon. “Are you don’t being a child?”

Ryuko didn’t say anything as she entered the building. Satsuki said something to Nonon before walking away and getting into a line. Ryuko went to follow her, before Nonon grabbed her upper arm and tugged her back.

“How many people does it take to get snacks?” Nonon grunted, her frown deepening. “Damn, you’ve got some rad muscle definition. Do you lift cows or something?”

“Cows?” Ryuko asked, shaking her head. “No. I just work out. But I don’t use cows.”

“I’m not serious.” Nonon muttered. “God, what the hell is wrong with you? You’re weird as shit, you know that? I can’t believe Satsuki likes you.”

“She likes me?” Ryuko felt her face turn bright red. “R-really?

“No, she invited you to hang out because she fucking hates you. What the hell?”

“I never really thought of that…”

“What the fuck is wrong with you?”

“What do you mean?”

“She’s trying to be your friend, you dumb shit.”

“You’re both freaks, you know! It’s not my fault if you don’t make any sense normally!”

“You’re lucky Satsuki is really oblivious, or else she’d know about you’re dumb little crush.”

“I don’t have a crush!”

“You so do, and Captain Oblivious has no idea.” Nonon crossed her arms and shot Ryuko a glare. “So if you’re gonna try to court her, you’d better be up front about it or else she won’t know and it’ll be hilarious for the rest of us. Especially me.”

“Especially you?” Ryuko furrowed her brow. “Why? Do _you_ have a crush on her?”

“Yeah right.” Nonon rolled her eyes. “Once upon a time in high school.” Nonon sighed. “But I didn’t have the balls to be upfront about it, and it didn’t work out well. But I wouldn’t have it any other way, to be honest. Satsuki’s a great friend, banging her would just complicate things.”

“Really?”

“No, Satsuki wouldn’t let things get complicated like that.” Nonon replied, glancing around at some movie posters. “She’s cool like that… So don’t mess anything up with her! Or I’ll rip your head off and use it as a bowling ball!”

“That’s not a normal threat.”

“You’re not normal!”

“Really? That’s all you could come up with?”

“I basically give you my blessing to try to bang my best friend, and you don’t even thank me! I’m too good a person to deal with you!”

“I’m so sure.” Ryuko rolled her eyes just as Satsuki returned, looking a little more than mildly irritated. “What crawled up your ass?”

Satsuki thrust a bucket of popcorn and a soda into Ryuko’s hands. “I got you Coke.” She said, handing Nonon her drink. “It seemed the safest bet, though I don’t know who in their right mind would think these sizes are medium.”

“Yeah, I bet Nonon could fit in there…” Ryuko replied, elbowing the shorter woman. “You know, if I turned you into a liquid first… That didn’t come out right… Did it?”

“No, it really didn’t.” Satsuki shook her head and looked at Nonon. “Which theater?”

“Fifteen.”

They walked in silence, aside from a snide comment or two from Nonon about the ‘greasy hoodlums’ that were ‘ruining her viewing experience.’ Once they made it to their theater, Satsuki forced Ryuko out of the seat she had originally chosen, front and center, and directed her to a ‘better’ seat near the middle. Ryuko merely frowned and did as she was told, she didn’t want to be the lonely freak who’s watching a shitty 90’s movie alone.

“You don’t seem like the type to like these kinds of movies.” Ryuko said to Nonon, who sat on the other side of Satsuki.

“I’m not, but a certain monkey is.” Nonon replied, leaning back in her seat with a smug look. “I won them off him in a bet. You should have seen his face when he lost! It was priceless.”

“What was the bet?”

“It was stupid and none of your business.”

“They made bets about _The Bachelor_.” Satsuki said with a sigh.

“Seriously?” Ryuko grinned, looking over at Nonon evilly.

“Seriously.” Satsuki rolled her eyes. “Nonon likes to watch the women who don’t get chosen cry. It’s strange.” She paused for a moment. “Now shut up, the movie’s about to start.”

Ryuko sat back and kept her eyes on the screen. She heard Nonon muttering to Satsuki during the opening scenes, followed by a small chuckle. Ryuko frowned when she wasn’t let in on the joke, though it might not even be that funny if Satsuki wasn’t going to relay it to her. With a satisfied grin, Ryuko watched the explosions and poorly choreographed fight scenes.

“It’s like they attached fireworks to the plane…” Satsuki muttered after an explosion. “The nineties really were magical, weren’t they?”

“Totally.” Ryuko nodded.

They fell into silence again, the complete insanity of the film was enough to keep Ryuko entertained. Let alone Nicholas Cage’s performance was awesome, Ryuko couldn’t stop thinking about how he acted like a demented _Looney Tune_. Satsuki seemed to think the same thing based on the amused look on her face every time he was on screen.

“The new John Travolta is a better husband that old John Travolta!” Nonon exclaimed quietly, causing Ryuko to laugh. “Why is the criminal a better dad than the cop?!”

“Because he’s stuck in the past.” Satsuki muttered back. “He’s an obsessed detective who had to find the man who killed his son, the rest of his family be damned.”

“Heavy.” Ryuko replied quietly.

Satsuki did not reply.

“Hey shut up.” Nonon grumbled, giving Ryuko a pointed look. “You’re ruining this masterpiece.”

“You’re ruining this day!” Ryuko shot back.

“You’re both going to stop.” Satsuki said, giving each of them a glare and Ryuko found herself shrinking back in her seat.

Apparently, Nonon had done the same. They fell into silence again, save for a few snide remarks about plot holes and bad parenting. The action was enough to keep Ryuko’s attention for the most part, and she’d be lying if she said that the acting wasn’t entertaining. Toward the end, Ryuko noticed that both Satsuki and Nonon had gone completely silent.

Ryuko looked over at Satsuki. Her body had gone stiff and her frown had somehow deepened. Ryuko elbowed the taller woman, causing her to jump slightly in surprise. Satsuki glared at Ryuko for a moment before another explosion caused her to jump again.

“What crawled up your ass?” Ryuko muttered.

“Nothing. This film is tiresome. Why don’t they both just die?”

“Because it’s the nineties.”

Satsuki hummed and sat back in her seat.

The movie finished predictably, and Ryuko stood up immediately when the credits started running. She stretched briefly before finishing the rest of her drink. Satsuki and Nonon did the same, and they left the theater quickly.

“That was awful!” Nonon laughed as they left the building. “Why was that chimp so excited to watch this?!”

“I don’t know, I think the acting was fun.” Ryuko said, pulling out her phone to see if Mako had texted her. She had, but only to remind her not to eat all the Cheetos and to put a shirt on because it was cold. Ryuko let out a bark of laughter before sending a reply.

“Yeah, Nick Cage sure knows how to freak people out.” Nonon sighed as they climbed into Satsuki’s car. “But he can’t ever be in a 3D movie, kids might be afraid that he’d eat them.”

“Or that his eyes would fly out at them.” Satsuki added.

“I’m already afraid of that.” Nonon climbed into the backseat and plugged in her iPod.

“Oh really?” Ryuko looked back at Nonon. “Little Nonon is afraid of the big bad Nick Cage?”

“Shut the fuck up!” Nonon growled, turning on the music. “I’m not afraid of Nick Cage!”

They continued like this for a few minutes, neither noticing the irritation written all over Satsuki’s face. Ryuko couldn’t help but grin as Nonon got more and more worked up due to her taunting. It certainly felt great to be on the other side of the argument.

“Is this really an argument worth having?” Satsuki sighed as she began to drive.

“No.” Ryuko and Nonon muttered together, both glaring out their windows.

“I thought that once I was an adult, I wouldn’t have to deal with children constantly.” Satsuki shook her head as she pulled up to Ryuko’s building. “It was nice to see you, Matoi.” She offered Ryuko a small smile.

“Yeah, you don’t totally suck.” Nonon said, climbing to the front seat the moment Ryuko exited the car. “We should hang out again sometime.”

“Oh… yeah. Sure.” Ryuko nodded, stuffing her hands in her pockets and turning her heel to walk away.

“Oh, and don’t forget what we talked about!” Nonon called as Satsuki started to pull away.

“Yeah, I’ll remember that you’re scared of Nick Cage!” Ryuko shouted back, hoping that Nonon could hear her.

Ryuko checked her phone again and grinned at the time. “Still got time to watch _National Treasure_ , fuck yeah!”


End file.
